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FacebookI think I’m going to go back to calling my sweetie The Girlfriend. This is not indicative of her status. She hasn’t been demoted and there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. it’s just that fiancée is a difficult world to say–and even harder to spell. It doesn’t roll off the tongue and it’s anywhere near as powerful as ‘The Girlfriend.’
And now for something completely inappropriate, I’d like to discuss my feet (yeah, that’ll be good for the ratings). I have extremely thick, extremely dry, and extremely tough skin on the bottom of my feet. The Girlfriend likes to refer to my peds as Fred Flintstone feet because they resemble something out of cavemen times (probably because all the time I walk around barefoot). Sure it’s gross to look at or write about, but they’re my feet and I’m the one who has to live with them.
I’ve always considered my thick-skinned feet to be more of an asset than a hindrance because it’s like having a pair of shoes on when I’m barefoot. The skin on the bottom of my feet is so thick and so dry I can’t feel anything. Trust me. When I was a kid, I ran razorblades across the bottom and didn’t feel a thing. Probably not the smartest thing to do–but that’s neither here nor there. The point is I’ve got some seriously thick-skinned feet.
My thick feet are like my superpower. All superheroes have something that make them special. Superman can fly; Aquaman can talk to the fishes; I can walk around barefoot all day on any surface without feeling any pain. Hot asphalt or jagged stones, it didn’t make a difference because I never felt anything.
I’ve always wanted to put my superpower to the test and try fire-walking. Trotting barefoot through eight feet of hot coals is considered a great test of will power and determination. To me, it’d be as easy as going out to get the mail–more like a test of equilibrium and balance than willpower (’cause–let’s face it–I’m a bit of a klutz and fall down a lot). Supposedly there’s some sorta rush in walking across hot cools. That and immediately you’ll win the respect of your peers in doing so. At least that’s what television has taught me.