Stupid men & the establishments they frequent (a get-rich-quick scheme)

I’d love to open and own my own Hooters restaurant. Breasts and hot chiks have nothing to do with it–I think the they’re just pure moneymakers. A few years ago, I had some friends who were obsessed with Hooters–they would go two or three times a week. Occasionally, I would go with them…only to be appalled by the ‘restaurant.’ The food was extremely overpriced; nothing came with French fries. A hot dog was like six bucks–and that was just the wiener. Sodas were like three bucks. Fries, cheese, or any additional toppings would cost you even more. Plus, the restaurant had a shady tactic to squeeze even more money out of you. If you ordered a plate of wings, the waitress would ask you “Would you like ranch, blue cheese, or barbeque sauce with that?” What she didn’t tell you is that dipping sauces cost 75 cents each.

Not even factoring busy crowds or big drinkers, the restaurant made significant money based on the food alone. Everything was ungawdly expensive yet no better in quality than anything you’d find at Denny’s (even the infamous wings are fatty and tough). The cost of food was a fraction of the price Hooters charged its customers.

Yet…Hooters is always busy! Why? Because men are so damn stupid! They’ll gladly overpay for crappy wings and beer simply because a hot chik in shorts flirts with them. It baffles me. If you wanna see a hot chik, go see strippers. Why put on this façade of class? A Hooters waitress is nothing more than a glorified stripper–why try an act like it’s more? Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work that way. If a guy goes to the Jiggly Room, he’s a pervert; it he eats at Hooters, he’s hungry. So the stupid men overpay for crappy food just because a pretty young thing flirts with ’em. It’s quite pathetic actually.

Because men are stupid, the place always has customers. The money just keeps coming in. Food expenses are low ’cause all the food is low-grade. And if you own a Hooters, you only hafta pay your skanks minimum wage because they live off tips. And man, do they get tips.

We all know typical restaurant gratuity is around 15-20%. But in Hooters, for whatever reason, the waitress typically gets closer to 50%. I’ve even seen many tables leave more for the server than the bill’s actual total. This happens because–once again–men are stupid. Show some cleavage and for whatever reason, we wanna throw money at’cha!

I’ve seen people pay the bill, go out to their car, and come back to give their waitress 20 more dollars! On top of the money everyone else left her at the table. Reason? “Because she works hard.” So does my mechanic–but he ain’t getting any more of my money. It’s deplorable.

I had a friend who actually thought his ‘regular’ Hooters waitress liked him–I kid you not. It’s like straight out of an episode of “South Park.” He believed she was into him because she was nice to him. “Well, she does work on tips,” I told him. He didn’t believe it. We tried to talk him out of it, but there was no use. It took him weeks to recover from the immediate rejection he got upon asking her out.

Men are stupid. Hot chiks are plentiful. Seems like a simple business plan to me.