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FacebookWhy is Jessica Alba considered a star? What has she ever done? She was on a short-lived television show about a decade ago. She was in the “Fantastic Four”–but it’s not like that increased her star power. And that’s about the only two things I think she’s ever done. I guess there’s no limits to how far a pretty face can take you.
Once again, I am completely out of the loop. Yahoo! released its annual list of top ten searches for 2008. These are the words and terms people most frequently type in the Yahoo! search engine. Of the ten, I can tell you that I have search for exactly zero of them. Not just in 2008–but my entire lifetime. I have never Yahooed Britney Spears (nor could I pick her out of a lineup of six other blonde girls). I never wanted to know anything about Angelina Jolie. I don’t think I’ve ever read an article about Lindsay Lohan. But it gets worse. Not only am I so anti-mainstream to never have searched for any of the ten terms, I never even heard of two of them. Who is Naruto and what the heck is a RuneScape?
I have become the anti-cool. I’m so far from being cool, you might even call me hot. But apparently hot is good so that’s not a fair way to describe me either. I’m neither hot nor cool–I must be room temperature. I spend my time Googling terms like “batch file,” “unlocked cell phones,” and “underage porn”–ya know, useful things. Why people are reading about Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears is beyond me. Talk about wasting your time on the internet: who cares what any celebrity does off-screen?
And who are the fools searching for WWE and American Idol? Shouldn’t they know after the first time it’s wwe.com and americanidol.com? Why go through the charade of having Yahoo! show you how to get to their website? Didn’t these people ever hear of bookmarking?
But that’s not the point–I’d still to know why Jessica Alba is a star. Maybe I should look it up on a search engine. Maybe I’m not the only one. Maybe that’s why she ranks so high. Maybe I need to stop starting sentences with maybe.