Airheads without airbags (maybe they crash on their head)

Even though I have no job nor any prospects of finding a job, The Wife and I are in the midst of buying a car (and if CNN is right, we might be the only two car-buyers in America). The world economy is falling apart; everyone is scrimping and saving; I have no job–we’re a single-income family…and we still want to buy a car (which says a lot about the state of her current vehicle). This is something we talked about long before stock market Armageddon came. This was a decision we made before I lost my job. The point I’m trying to make is that we’ve need a car for a while now and is not a decision made lightly.

I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon during our hunt–a plethora of incompetent sellers. Since we’re in the market for a used car and I think dealers are the scum of the earth (although slightly better than politicians and insurance executives), we’ve contacted quite a few private parties. I’m not expecting to meet J. Paul Getty when buying a ten-year old used car–but I’d like to meet someone who could at least put a little bit of effort and enthusiasm into selling their car. I’ve left countless messages to sellers who were simply too lazy to call me back. I spoke to people who barely knew what color their car was. And asking for something as trivial as the VIN so I could run a vehicle check report…well, let’s just say some sellers would rather give me their first born child than take the effort to read the VIN off a pink slip.

A few Sundays ago I called a local seller about a car. He was very willing to work with me…but couldn’t show me the car until Thursday because he was busy. If I was trying to sell a car, I’d drop everything I’m doing to show the vehicle. Unless my mother was laying on her deathbed, there’s probably nothing going on in my life that I’d make a potential buyer wait four days to see the car (but then again, I’m unemployed).

When I finally got a chance to see the car, I was amazed by how filthy it was. There’s a difference between buying a car from a private party and a dealer–I get that; however, the seller should at least attempt some effort to make the car look presentable. I’m not saying you hafta get a car detailed–but would it kill you to run a hose over it? Maybe vacuum the interior. And for godsake, clean up the dog hair! I took the car for a five-minute test drive and ended up so covered in dog hair I looked like a German Shepard. That wasn’t even the extent of it: I had to clean out my car because of the dog hair I took with me on the ride home.

This weekend, we found a listing that looked like our dream car. The mileage was great. The price was fair. And the color was absolutely perfect. I was very much looking forward to seeing this car because on paper, everything was perfect.

I called the seller and asked a few questions. How long have you had it? What’s the odometer reading? Is there anything wrong with it?

“No, nothing is wrong with it. The car is in great shape.”

“Great–I’d like to see it this afternoon,” I told her.

The Wife and I quickly grabbed our keys and headed out the door. It looked like after three months of searching we had finally found a winner. I mentally started to plan my haggling and purchase procedure. I knew if the car passed my inspection, we’d be the proud owners of a new(er) vehicle…and we could get rid of the problematic, piece of junk she drives now. It took us about 20 minutes to get to the car–20 minutes of unspoken driving. I was thinking about the car; The Wife was probably thinking about “America’s Next Top Model.”

When we finally met the car and the seller, she said to me “It doesn’t have airbags–the airbags were stolen and that’s why I’m selling it below bluebook.”

Doesn’t have airbags? How does a car that doesn’t have airbags have nothing wrong with it?

That was pretty much the dealer-breaker. Airbags cost about two grand each, which would have made this car cost $4000 more. Not to mention the tires were completely bare and had to be replaced immediately. I took it for a drive because I wanted to see how it handled, but I knew The Wife and I would not be buying the car.

I was irritated with the seller. A car that’s missing its airbags is probably something that should get disclosed before a buyer comes to see a car (maybe she should take the airbag out of her head). I know I took time out of her day; she definitely took time out of mine. There was no way The Wife and I were going to buy a car without airbags–and I told the seller so.

If there’s anything to learn from this incident, I now know asking if the car had its airbags stolen should be a standard question in my previsit quiz.

What a waste of an afternoon.