Modern Avoidances (i h8 2 w8 4 ttyls)

When text messaging was first introduced to the world, I thought it was an absurd concept. I mean, why take the time to type someone a message when it’s much easier to verbally tell them? Cell phone companies tried to tell us how useful texting was. I remember a commercial that showed two people at a party who were unable to talk to each other because the music was too loud. Being hip and smart, they used their cell phones and communicated via text messaging. Seemed foolish to me. If a party is that loud, go outside. And who goes to a party with music that loud? Plus, it cost something like 10 cents a message. Nothing I ever had to say seemed worth 10 cents. I stayed away from text messaging like Tigers Woods stayed away from controversy. But that was then…

…this is now. Today, I’m a big texter. The Wife gets angry ’cause I spend way too much texting other people instead of talking to her. I’m glad I’m on an unlimited texting plan ’cause if I wasn’t, I’d probably spend a full month’s unemployment check on text messages. I send and receive more texts than you’re average 13-year old girl–and that was before I discovered Twitter.

The reason I got hooked on texting was its simplicity. Some times you want to relay a quick message instead of having a conversation with someone. When I’m heading home, I don’t need to call The Wife: a simple “I’m coming home soon; make sure the pool boy is dressed and gone before I get there” will suffice. Instead of individually calling ten guys to let them know what time our softball game is, I can send out one text to everyone (why grown men aren’t responsible enough to remember what time the game is a whole ‘nother problem). It didn’t take me long to realize that text messaging is a lot simpler than calling someone because quick texts elicited quick responses. Did the mail come? No. I can’t find the flashlight. Look under the bed. Michael Jackson died. No way!

Thanks to texting, exchanges of information could be had with minimal effort. A phone call takes a minute or so, and you hafta focus your attention to the call. But a text can be sent at any time. I could be ordering my dinner, driving on the freeway, or conversing with my boss, and a text message could be sent without the slighted interference.

I embrace the technology–I love the technology. I need the technology. If I could, I would make love to it repeatedly until the technology was ruined for all other men (too far?). I’m not a hater. I’d much rather text than talk to pretty much anyone (including my own mother). If texting was available when I was a teenager I would have asked out far more girls in high school than I did (I didn’t do well with face-to-face rejection; often resorting to name-calling and vague threats of revenge).

That being said, I’ve noticed a growing social change over the past few months. It used to be a text message was promptly responded to. But lately I’ve noticed people have been ignoring my text messages. I’ll ask someone a direct question and they don’t respond. I have no proof that this is a growing trend (admittedly, it could just be my associates are all choosing to ignore me–which is tremendously damaging to my self-esteem); however, way too many of my texts go unanswered. My brothers ignore my questions. My friends have been ignoring my invitations. Even my mother doesn’t respond to the texts I send her (although, she doesn’t know how to text and probably can’t read her phone without glasses).

Text messaging is a wonderful useful tool–but only if people are going to use it. If people continue to ignore me, I’ll have no choice but to start calling them. I don’t wanna do that. I have more important things to do than hunting down a bunch of deadbeats who don’t have enough decency to respond to people (assuming they pick up when they see it’s me calling). Maybe the novelty of texting has finally worn off and people welcome text messages with same enthusiasm reserved for the gas bill. Who knows?