Twitter Quip

    Car, phones, and being rude (these are a few of my favorite things)

    I haven’t had much to be proud of lately. I work at a job that suits the financial needs of a teenager. I haven’t had a good haircut since 2008. I’m a burden on society and take more in government aid than I pay in taxes. But I can proudly proclaim I had a gas-free October. I filled up my gas tank on November 2nd. The last time I bought gas before that was September 23rd–meaning I did not buy gas for the entire month of October. Driving a highly fuel-efficient Honda played a big part in that, but I’ve had the car for almost four years and I’ve been getting 35 miles per gallon from the beginning. I was able to go six weeks in between fill-ups thanks to a perfect storm of events that left my car at home more often than not (no, it didn’t break down–it’s a Honda). Since I’m only taken one class, I only go to school once a week. October was filled with rainouts and byes, so I had only a couple softball games all month. And since work is a mere four-minute walk, it’d be wasteful to drive there. I typically go . . . . .

     

    Unsolved Mysteries (add to my miseries)

    After cleaning the toilets and taking out the trash, I was called into the manager’s office at URS for my latest lesson in working for a directionless bureaucracy. The manager needed for me to read and sign a document. According to the manager I was doing something wrong at the register. Even though it pertained to me, I was not privy to get a copy of the actual document (company property) so I’m going to do my best to repeat the document the best to my recollection.

    Violation: I, Sik Nerd have been made aware that the expected scan rate of SRT is 90 percent. As per company policy, employees must compile 90 when TPS offsets the MRN scan rate. My ASR for the week of October 10th was not 90 percent SRT. Resolution: Follow the guidelines and comply with the expected SRT and ASR. Follow-up: 1 month

    Those acronyms probably seem foreign to you* and you’re not alone: I didn’t know any of them. It wasn’t just the acronyms–I found the entire document incompressible. It could have been a recipe for sushi or the biological formula to make liquid hydrogen: in either case, I couldn’t tell the difference.

    . . . . .