The Wife: “How come when football players retire the big fat guys get skinny & the skinny guys get big and fat?”
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The Wife: “How come when football players retire the big fat guys get skinny & the skinny guys get big and fat?” I see nothing wrong with criticizing the actors in a children’s pagent. If you can’t act get off the stage. You’d think with all the advances we’ve had in entertainment someone would have found a way to make church less boring by now. A few weeks ago, I popped by URS on my day off. I needed some milk. It was close. Look, I don’t hafta justify myself to you. I needed stuff and they had it (man, I’m awful at writing intros). Even though it was my day off, a minor crisis was ensuing that caught my attention. One of the freezers had stopped working leaving about $300-worth of ice cream in perilous danger. The manager on duty and two crew member huddled around the freezer, trying to assess what to do. As they poked their heads around the appliance, I gave it a quick look. Not because I wanted to help URS, but I do enjoy fixing things. To me, it looked like the freezer wasn’t getting any power. The lights were all off. It made no sounds at all. And it was a balmy 58 degrees inside (while I am not an expert in the specifics of turning milk into ice cream, I’m fairly certain keeping it at a temperature under 58 degrees is involved). “Did you check the circuit breakers,” I asked the manager. I’m pretty sure he heard me, but he seemed too focused on the state of . . . . .
Last week I was stocking canned goods when I heard a commotion near the entrance to the store. I would have gotten up to see what it was, but I was quite comfortable and, frankly, didn’t care. I only abandoned my task when the manager on duty, Maude, 1 found me: “Cindy said we just got robbed.” That got my attention. “Huh?” “Three or four people ran out of the store with baskets of alcohol and diapers.” “Seems like an odd mix to me.” Even in crisis I can still maintain my sense of humor. I followed the manager into the office. URS is equipped with cameras everywhere within the store. It’s something Loss Prevention does to prevent losses (lotta good it did in this case). Since I’m not management, this was this first time I had access to the surveillance eqipment. Maude didn’t know how to use the system because she wasn’t trained at it. Luckily I’m good with a computer and in ten minutes2 we were able to see video of the theft. It was a team of four. They came in and loaded hand baskets full of merchandise (mainly booze and diapers, but they also threw in . . . . .
A storage server with RAID-5 configuration in a six drive array might be a bit of an overkill for home users. I need a new wardrobe for work, which illicited this response from The Wife: “I’m so excited–it’s like getting a new husband!” At what point in marriage does “compromising” turn into “no longer having the energy to hold your ground?” Even though we are just two, The Wife and I have three cars. As much as we have tried, it has been proven to be physically impossible for two people to drive three cars simultaneously. One of our cars is frequently neglected…and its battery dies. That being said, I’m a man’s man–or at least manly enough to jumpstart a car battery. The thing about a dead battery–in most cases–it can be resurrected. A car battery is like any rechargeable battery. If it goes long enough without being charged it will drain; however, if you start the car and drive around for a half hour the battery will recharge. I’m not saying anything here most guys don’t already know: this lesson in automotive electronics is for the women (and maybe my youngest brother). I went through this ritual on over the weekend. Car battery died. Jumpstarted it. Needed to drive around for a half hour. The Wife and I opted to go to the library because it provides cheap entertainment. I had been driving for about 20 minutes when I was five minutes away from the library. Wanting to stretch my drive an additional five minutes, I made a couple extraneous . . . . .
I watched a Laker game last night because I wanted to see Kobe Bryant in action. Unfortunately, he didn’t rape anyone. |
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