So it turns out Twinkies do have an expiration date and consuming them after that date can make you sick.
|
||||
So it turns out Twinkies do have an expiration date and consuming them after that date can make you sick. Jaywalking is dangerous for black people because oncoming drivers might not see them against the asphalt. The best part of not having an online presence is no one can name me in the Ice Bucket Challenge. I was my hands before I go to the bathroom, but that’s only because I know where my hands have been. Hazard Lights: the universal symbol for “I’ll be back in five minutes.” I noticed the hospital has a room for pathology: who knew they needed a whole wing dedicated to the study of liars? So think I killed someone recently. It was not my intent to kill them (that would be first degree murder), but rather a course of circumstances that I was involved in lead to their probable death (second degree manslaughter–a far lighter sentence). But we’ll get to that in a moment. Recently I attempted to sell a mobile phone I was no longer using. A year ago it was top of the line, but I didn’t care much for it and hardly used it (I’m old school: I need a keyboard). I posted the phone on craigslist for $200 because they were selling for about $250 on eBay and I saw nothing cheaper than $240 on craigslist. Ahh craigslist…it’s a great place to buy and sell goods. Unfortunately, you have to deal with craigslist people. I don’t think highly of craigslist people: you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy outside of craigslist. Sure, craigslist is great when you’re trading with a decent person. But in my experience, 95 percent of craiglisters are illiterate, stupid, cheap, rude, dishonest, or just downright annoying. Part of it is my doing. I sell things cheap so I’m dealing with . . . . .
I always donate to public libraries so homeless guys have a place to look at porn. I hate Kevin Costner movies and I hate sports movies, yet I like Kevin Costner movies about sports… #GoFigure I worry that the upcoming Star Wars movie might have too much product placements. |
||||
Newsletter | RSS | Twitter | Employment | Contact Info |