Ignorance is bliss–but only when Ignorance is the name of a stripper.
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Ignorance is bliss–but only when Ignorance is the name of a stripper. There aren’t enough French fries in my life. This probably says a lot about mental problems but I find aggressive, assertive, super-bossy women extremely attractive. I’m a little worried because I ate corn two days ago and I haven’t seen it come out yet. Before my daughter was born–before I even knew I was having a daughter–the wife and I had, uh, heated “debates” of what we would name our offspring. Seeing how I come from a family of many boys (no girls) and The Wife had no interest in little girls’ clothing we just assumed it would be a boy. Kinda of silly because it was 50-50 either way, yet neither of us really considered the possibly of having a daughter. I wanted my boy to have a good, strong Italian name. Nothing too over the top like Guido, but Tony, Paulie, and Vinny were all possibilities (basically anything that ended in an “ee” sound). The Wife wanted more classical names like those of English royalty (James, George, William). Hmmm…Maybe we should compromise: Jamie, Georgie, Willie. The girl’s name was relatively simply. The first name The Wife threw out was Babygrl1 and I kinda liked it. Of course, I couldn’t admit I liked it–not after she immediately shot down my suggestion to name a boy Giovanni. But that night, I started thinking more and more about it and really began to embrace it. It was the same number of letters as our last . . . . .
The only thing I like more than helping people is being a selfish jerk. Why do some restaurants give away ketchup but charge extra for ranch? A bottle of Heinz costs just as much Hidden Valley. I don’t understand why I have to get my wife. present on Mother’s Day–she’s not MY mother. I’m too old to be eating lunch with a spork. It has just come to my attention that Supermex is not a Latino superhero. |
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