Aging gracefully with broken teeth

Don’t try to eat Cap’n Crunch when your teeth hurt: you’re better off chewing on tin foil.

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While those who are close to me dispute it, I think I definitely look younger than I am. I will admit that I’m having difficulty accepting the fact I’m older and my current age (I still haven’t verbalized it yet), it doesn’t change the fact many people think I’m younger than I am.

We hired a new receptionist about two months ago and just recently I’ve started talking to her. See, everyone wants to be in the television business. We hire a lot of folks who are looking to become stars. They take crappy jobs (like receptionist) in hopes of it getting their foot in the door. Usually after being with us for a month, they realize there is no door and they’re working a crappy job at a tiny television station. The way I see it: why waste my time getting to know someone when there’s a good chance they’re gonna quit in a month anyway?

But since the receptionist has been with us for longer than a month, I decided to start talking to her. We have a bit of a flirty relationship (it’s good for my ego) and the age issue came up the other day. She asked me how old I was and I refused to answer.

“When someone doesn’t want to answer, they’re usually old,” she said to me. “People who are 30 don’t want to admit their age. You’re not 30.”

“And you’re right about that–I’m not 30,” I adamantly inssited. “I’m just uncomfortable with my age and refuse to admit it.”

“You can’t be that old,” she pleaded. “How old are you, 19?”

Bless her little heart. “Sorry, not gonna answer that.”

“I know you’re not any older than me. I’m 23 and I can say it.”

If I believe in such things as love and marriage, I woulda proposed to her right then and there.

The significance of this conversation is huge. It’s understandable that old folks–people in their 40s think I’m a young’un because it’s been a long time since they were 20 and probably forgot what 20-year olds look like. But when someone my age–a peer–thinks I look younger than I am, that’s significant because she spends her time with people in their 20s: she knows what 20-year olds look like.

So to Twinkie, Red Jesus, El Diablo, and all of those who try to make me seem much older than I really am: kiss my black ass. Ya’all are wrong and I don’t care what you say: I can be 22 if I want to.