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FacebookReal quick. I’m going with Eagles vs. Patriots in the Super Bowl. I decided it last week before the weekend games but never got around to writing it. My Eagle prediction looks shaky given McNabb’s injury, but I made this before the season started and gotta stick with it (plan B: the Giants). As usual, I never pick the Super Bowl winner because anything can happen in a single game.
I am obsessed with Tetris.* There–I said it. I played the game religiously as a kid on my Game Boy. I sacrificed many dates and opportunities to interact with real human beings because of Tetris. I would rock out to the Tetris theme in my bedroom. I even wanted to name my firstborn child Tetris. Tetris was the video game equivalent of crack. I can’t even begin to guess how many months of my life I wasted playing Tetris (we’re way beyond hours and days). There were other video games, but nothing could compete with the rush I got from a game of Tetris. It was a staple–I took my Game Boy with me everywhere I went because the great thing about Tetris was its closure: a game of Tetris could be done in about 30 minutes (once I got over 150 lines, all hell broke loose).
In my opinion, the Game Boy version of Tetris is the default, official version. It’s the one most people played; it’s the version I grew up on. I like it best because of its music and gameplay. I’ve seen other versions that show you four upcoming pieces. I’ve played some games that let you discard a piece you don’t like. All of these are cheats in my mind–a real Tetris player doesn’t need to resort to such pathetic lifelines.
About a decade ago, back when cell phones had antennas and monochromatic screens, I remember joking with a buddy “if a cell phone ever came out with Tetris on it, I would buy it in a heartbeat.” And this was back in the day before cell phones had games on ’em. Eventually Tetris did come out for cell phones and I’ve purchased a copy of it for pretty much every phone I’ve ever had. The reason behind it: there’s always time for Tetris.
I think the worst part of playing too much Tetris is I get something I call Tetris vision. Even after I stop playing, I “see” Tetris pieces falling in front of me. I start to daydream and play the game in my head. The piece all come randomly and I hafta put everything it its place. I guess it’s kinda like posttraumatic stress for Vietnam vets: they get flashbacks of POW camps; I get flashes of that backwards “s” thing.
I recently installed a bunch of games on The Wife’s cell phone, with Tetris being one of them. I did so because I figured everybody loves Tetris. Hell, even my mom plays Tetris. But my assumption was wrong and The Wife complained that I installed a game on her phone that she did not approve of.
“How do you not like Tetris,” a friend asked who overheard our conversation.
“I just don’t,” she said. “I don’t even know how to play Tetris.”
My jaw dropped. I was speechless. My friend had the same reaction.
“How do you not know how to play Tetris,” I sputtered out. “It’s not a complicated game.”
And that’s when she let out the real bomb. “Well, actually, I’ve never played Tetris.”
“Whaddya mean you’ve never played Tetris? How can somebody not play Tetris?”
The best answer she could muster was because she was a girl (as if Tetris is gender specific). It’s really inexcusable. I can understand if someone doesn’t like Super Mario Bros. 3. I could even consider the possibility that someone never played Super Mario Bros. 3. But Tetris? Tetris? What kinda person never played Tetris? This is the best I could come up with:
1) The blind
2) Someone who travel through time from 1985 to present day
3) Jaycee Dugard
4) Someone without thumbs
5) People who have spent the past 20 years in a coma
Other than that, everybody has played Tetris? Didja see the latest Bin Laden video? He was caught playing Tetris in an Afghani cave without water or electricity. Yes, even terrorists play Tetris.
I’m not sure what to make of this. I understand my wife and I are different people. We have different tastes and interest. But to have never played Tetris is to be…unhuman (although I did see that YouTube clip of a monkey playing Tetris). I mean, how can someone possibly have never played Tetris? It befuddles me. I don’t know what to do with this information.
* I will forever say Super Mario Bros. 3 is The Greatest Game Ever Made; however, there’s something more addicting about Tetris.