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FacebookI was driving past a Jiffy Lube a saw a banner that caught my eye: Gift Cards Available. Who’d give someone a Jiffy Lube gift card as a present? I know gift cards are big-time money makers, but isn’t that grasping at straws. Imagine waking up, the morning of your one-year wedding anniversary and find your beau bought you a Jiffy Lube gift card. What better way to say ‘I love you’ than a complementary oil change. How many birthday boys out there are secretly hoping to get a gift card to Jiffy Lube? I can’t think of a single possible scenario where a Jiffy Lube gift card is considered an acceptable gift. I would love to meet the genius who thought that was a good idea.
I hate sequels. That’s it–I’m done with them. I don’t care if there is another “Back to the Future,” “Indiana Jones,” “Die Hard,” or even “Simpsons Movie.” I’m done. After “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” I have decided to stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution.
Hollywood churns out sequels because the movie has a built-in audience. There are a large number of people bound to see the movie regardless of quality because it’s a product people are familiar with. This isn’t just limited to sequels. The movie business spins off television shows (“Sex and the City”), comic books (“Iron Man”), and even toys (“Transformers”). People drop large sums of money to go to the movie just because it’s an idea they’re familiar with.
But “Die Hard 4” was unnecessary. “Indy 4” was dumb. Hell, Hollywood plans on rebooting the Star Trek franchise and production has started on a new Terminator trilogy. Enough is enough. These aren’t sequels that need to be made–I don’t care how much money the movie makes. People are paying to see this crap.
“Hellboy II?” Did you see the first one? I did–and it was terrible. A Punisher sequel. Even though “The Hulk” was considered a commercial and critical failure, Hollywood is rebooting the franchise because they know there’s money to be made in a Hulk trilogy. People, you hated the first one–why are you going to see the sequel?!?!?
I’m done with sequels. I want original stories. I want fresh ideas. I want movies to see based on merit; not familiarity. I know it’s a pointless battle because the public is stupid and does whatever the latest ad campaign tells them to do. But I’m taking a stand: I’m doing what I feel is right. I’m no longer going to be part of the problem. Here’s to hoping “Hancock” does well–at least the first one.