Twitter Quip

    Fraudulent documents, illiterate housekeepers, and the rat without mercy

    Last week, The Girlfriend and I opted to spend a three-day weekend in San Diego. Not that San Diego is attractive to an Orange County resident as a tourist attraction. The weather is identical to home and they don’t have a basketball team (although we don’t have a football team). But with the wedding to plan, work to complain about, and baseball season being a month away, we just needed to get the hell out of dodge for a few days.

    I generally don’t like the idea of paying for hotel rooms–not when I’m paying for rent at home. But luckily, I got a guy. A dear friend of mine works in the hotel business and he’s able to hook me up with cheap hotel rooms. He’s the manger of a national hotel chain and through him; I’m able to get rooms at this very prominent chain at the employee discount price. My buddy simply books the room for me and fills out the official, proper paperwork that states I–siknerd–am an employee of the hotel. Everything is legit since he is a manager…everything except for the part that says I work for the hotel.

    The process is pretty routine. He . . . . .

     

    Holey socks & the most romantic day of the year

    I realized that recently I have been writing way too much about movies and televisions (probably because I haven’t done anything but sit and watch TV the past few weeks). Well enough is enough: I am implementing a new, self-imposed embargo on the movie business. Enough complaining, bitching, or nitpicking about Hollywood. If the writers can be on strike, I can too. Although technically, I wouldn’t be on strike. But that’s not the point–I need something else to complain about. I wonder what Sprint is up too…

    I’d like to take a moment to announce that The Girlfriend has hereby officially been promoted to The Fiancee. I proposed to her on Monday and she said yes. Not there was any doubt. I must’ve made over a hundred marriage proposals throughout my years–but this was the first one where I had a ring (second where I knew the girl’s name). I knew she was going to accept because Monday was Martin Luther King Day–the most romantic and sexiest holiday of the year.

    A lot of guys propose with bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates. They engineer the perfect, romantic evening. Luckily, I knew my gal wanted none of that. We . . . . .

     

    Shiny stuff slips down the drain (or bathroom complications)

    With me recovering from surgery, I haven’t really felt like writing much. But I suppose that shouldn’t stop me from posting something online. I’ll probably spend the next week or so digging out old stuff I wrote for folks to peruse. Gotta keep my loyal reader (no S) happy.

    I found a ring today. Actually it’s more like a band of cheap aluminum (maybe it was part of a pipe). Since I’m drawn to pretty things, I found myself slipping a finger in it and wearing it around. The ring was a little too big and slipped on and off with relative ease. Despite it being tacky, I liked having something on my finger because the noise it made when I tapped things.

    Later on in the day, I went to the bathroom. Now I’m not gonna tell you what I did in the bathroom because it’s irrelevant to the story (and probably something you don’t wanna hear). What I will share is that I thoroughly washed my hands afterwards ’cause that’s what I do.

    Before I even realized it, the ring slipped off my finger and down the drain. I quickly panicked. The ring clearly clogged the drain as . . . . .