Twitter Quip

    Recent iRANTs

    Insignificant Corporate Created Holiday observations

    I saw someone using a pay phone last week. That was an odd sight–I didn’t even know pay phones existed anymore. Who needs them–doesn’t everyone have a cell phone nowadays (I have two)?

    The thing is, pay phones are actually everywhere–I noticed this after I started thinking about pay phones. They’re still out there. With everyone having cells, pay phones can’t be making any money–I wonder if there’s some sorta government subsidiary to keep ’em around (like a safety issue or sumhin’). Even in a great location, how does a pay phone average more than a call a day? At 25 cents a call, that’s only like 28 bucks a month. It might be more than I make, but certainly not an endeavored worth investing in.

    Unlike most guys in the country, I’m not dreading February 14th. I don’t hafta deal with teddy bears and heart-shaped chocolates because The Girlfriend doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. The Girlfriend realizes that I treat her like a goddess year round and there’s no need to do anything special mid-February because Hallmark says so.

    I am a long-time VD-hater–and not just because my horrific adventures in singlehood. I believe Valentine’s Day is an insignificant, . . . . .

     

    February 14th, 2008 | Tags: , , | Category: Business Beefs, iRANT, Opinions, The Mundane | Comments are closed

    Super soles (Yabba-Dabba-Doo!)

    I think I’m going to go back to calling my sweetie The Girlfriend. This is not indicative of her status. She hasn’t been demoted and there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. it’s just that fiancée is a difficult world to say–and even harder to spell. It doesn’t roll off the tongue and it’s anywhere near as powerful as ‘The Girlfriend.’

    And now for something completely inappropriate, I’d like to discuss my feet (yeah, that’ll be good for the ratings). I have extremely thick, extremely dry, and extremely tough skin on the bottom of my feet. The Girlfriend likes to refer to my peds as Fred Flintstone feet because they resemble something out of cavemen times (probably because all the time I walk around barefoot). Sure it’s gross to look at or write about, but they’re my feet and I’m the one who has to live with them.

    I’ve always considered my thick-skinned feet to be more of an asset than a hindrance because it’s like having a pair of shoes on when I’m barefoot. The skin on the bottom of my feet is so thick and so dry I can’t feel anything. Trust me. When I was a kid, I . . . . .

     

    February 5th, 2008 | Tags: , | Category: iRANT, The Mundane | Comments are closed

    This iRANT has more culture and intelligence than the 11 o’clock news

    The lead story on tonight’s news was Nicole Kidman’s car accident. Nevermind it wasn’t much of an accident (caught on tape!). Forget that no one was hurt and the actress walked away fine, seconds after impact. Ignore that it really wasn’t spectacular; no cars rolled over and the damage was minimal. The real story here is that this is a story–a lead story for at least two major television networks (I caught the beginning of FOX’s and the CW’s news: when I saw what they were “covering” I opted to turn off the TV). And I only watched the two networks–it might’ve been the lead story for everyone else, too.

    The media is a frequent target of my criticism: it’s stuff like this that makes it easy. Honestly, who gives a damn? Television could be such a powerful, educational, and informative media–and we’re talking about an insignificant actress’s on-set car accident. It’s awful.

    I got some hairs cut today. Here’s something to chew one. Why is something like a person’s hair, referred to in a singular sense when there’s more than one? The plural of hair is hairs, not hair (i.e., ‘I found three hairs in the sink’). Yet whenever . . . . .

     

    January 26th, 2007 | Tags: | Category: Current Events, Hollywood, iRANT, The Mundane | Comments are closed
     
      « Newer iRANT