Tweets « Siknerd: Home of the iRANT | funny stories, random thoughts, and many, many complaints

#WednesdayWisdom: If you need to ask, “What is that terrible smell” you really don’t want to know the answer.

#WednesdayWisdom: If you need to ask, “What is that terrible smell” you really don’t want to know the answer.

It’s an odd dichotomy of needs when you have pee and are really thirsty at the same time.

It’s an odd dichotomy of needs when you have pee and are really thirsty at the same time.

#AdviceForPeopleJoiningTwitter: Confirm your ID by posting your date of birth, home address, social security number, & mother’s maiden name.

#AdviceForPeopleJoiningTwitter: Confirm your ID by posting your date of birth, home address, social security number, & mother’s maiden name.

Would it be wrong if i started bringing magazines to work so I’d have something to read when I go to the bathroom?

Would it be wrong if i started bringing magazines to work so I’d have something to read when I go to the bathroom?

#ReasonsToLeaveEarth: Thanks to a typo, the restraining order won’t allow me within 1000 miles of a school or church.

#ReasonsToLeaveEarth: Thanks to a typo, the restraining order won’t allow me within 1000 miles of a school or church.

#IfPoliticiansToldTheTruth: No one would serve a full term.

#IfPoliticiansToldTheTruth: No one would serve a full term.

#ItsNotTactfulTo: pick your nose and eat it, but it tastes so dang good.

#ItsNotTactfulTo: pick your nose and eat it, but it tastes so dang good.

#SignsThatYourNoLongerInLove: She draws a mustache and horns on all your photos.

#SignsThatYourNoLongerInLove: She draws a mustache and horns on all your photos.

#SignsThatYourNoLongerInLove Wife: “I’m pregnant and you’re not the father.” Husband: “Congratulations! What’s for dinner?”

#SignsThatYourNoLongerInLove

Wife: “I’m pregnant and you’re not the father.” Husband: “Congratulations! What’s for dinner?”

Like a scorned lover harassing his ex-girlfriend, I spend my evenings getting drunk & Tweeting at companies that have wronged me.

Like a scorned lover harassing his ex-girlfriend, I spend my evenings getting drunk & Tweeting at companies that have wronged me.