Tweets « Siknerd: Home of the iRANT | funny stories, random thoughts, and many, many complaints

If I had a time machine I would go back in time & beat the crap out of the guy who decide ‘oh’ & ‘zero’ were the same shape.

If I had a time machine I would go back in time & beat the crap out of the guy who decide ‘oh’ & ‘zero’ were the same shape.

Monkeys have it so easy. They don’t have to worry about haircuts. They don’t need to buy styling product. I’m jealous.

Monkeys have it so easy. They don’t have to worry about haircuts. They don’t need to buy styling product. I’m jealous.

…when I started to wonder, ‘What else can I put in the pencil sharpener?’ #ItAllWentWrong

…when I started to wonder, ‘What else can I put in the pencil sharpener?’

#ItAllWentWrong

I’m bored and hungry. If I Google pictures of food will that solve both problems?

I’m bored and hungry. If I Google pictures of food will that solve both problems?

It’s hard to remember something you don’t care about.

It’s hard to remember something you don’t care about.

I need to add a notch to my bedpost: I just made another 1st grader cry.

I need to add a notch to my bedpost: I just made another 1st grader cry.

I let myself go before I got married so my wife would know exactly what she was getting herself into.

I let myself go before I got married so my wife would know exactly what she was getting herself into.

I love that feeling you get when you sneeze and a giant booger flies out. “Ah…I can breathe again!”

I love that feeling you get when you sneeze and a giant booger flies out. “Ah…I can breathe again!”

Valentine’s Day Fact: the less a hooker charges the more she likes you.

Valentine’s Day Fact: the less a hooker charges the more she likes you.

I don’t remember the last time I was hit hard in the head. Probably because I was hit hard in the head.

I don’t remember the last time I was hit hard in the head. Probably because I was hit hard in the head.