One of the hardest aspects of being a teacher is coming up with creative new ways to yell at children.
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For all the advances science has done it’s remarkable that we haven’t been able to come up with a passable version of generic Doritos. This Halloween I want to see an Indian dressed as a Native American. I dread driving anywhere because it’s so unproductive. Driving to a destination is like waiting in a line that’s moving really fast. I don’t understand why politicians have campaign rallies: the only people who show up were going to vote for you anyway. Why would anyone want to have a threesome with twins? It’s twice the work for the same results. Having kids: the benefit of having an extra set of hands doesn’t outweigh the cost of an extra mouth to feed. The majority of the people I meet find my sarcastic, mean-spirited humor to be amusing. Everyone else is a moron. I heard a teacher instruct her class to be “super quiet.” She has high standards. I’d be happy with “regular quiet” or even “sorta quiet.” If illegally stealing stuff from work is a crime then I don’t want to be right. |
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