Divorced dads are so lucky: they have to be a parent only two weekends a month.
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My daughter has a 102 degree fever. I’m worried my wife won’t make it through the night. MoviePass won’t let people see “Crazy Rich Asians.” That’s racist. The longer in stay married the more I sympathize with men who walkout on their families. I invented binge watching back in 2003 during Season 3 of “24.” I videotaped every episode, and after the season was over I watched them over the course of two nights. Much like Jack Bauer I was exhausted when it was over. Moviepass was great for my marriage. I liked to go out to the movies, and my wife liked it when I went out to the movies. I’m a much better driver at night when there’s less things to hit. I hurt myself while sitting. Not getting up. Not sitting down. While sitting. My girlfriend thinks I’d be an excellent husband; my wife completely disagrees. #BadPregnancyReactions: I’ll get a coat hanger. |
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