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Way back when–a long time ago in the year 2000–I signed up to be a bone marrow donor. Not because I wanted to. Not because it was the right thing to do. Nope. I did it for free baseball tickets. I remember the day quite vividly. It was an August (or maybe September) and I was at a carnival or festival, or maybe the Orange County Fair (maybe I don’t remember it as vividly as I thought). Anywhos, I was there with my buddy, El Diablo, and we saw a booth giving away free Angel tickets. All we had to do was give a tiny prick of blood. They would put us on the bone marrow donor list and we could each score four free tickets. Seemed fair enough. Heck, seemed more than fair. With eight tickets and only two asses, we figure we could sell the remaining six tickets for $10 a pop and make 60 bucks off the deal.
“It’s not like we actually hafta give them anything,” El Diablo pointed out. He was right. I had no intention of ever “donating” my marrow. I knew little about it other than they had to drill into your hip . . . . .
It’s ‘nog season! Eggnog-flavored ice cream. Eggnog-flavored shakes. Eggnog-flavored cookies. Eggnog-flavored…uh, milk. I love it! After the presents, paid holidays, food, football, time spent with loved ones, football, and Christmas lights, eggnog is my favorite part of the holiday season. Why is ‘nog limited to only four weeks of the year? I could very easily drink eggnog everyday of the week, year-round. So sweet. So thick. Mmmnn…need more eggnog. Why must the world deprive us of this wonderful flavor 11 months of the year? It’s just not fair.
After watching “Crystal Skull” this week and realizing I was too hard on it the first time around, it got me wondering if there have been other misevaluated movies I’ve seen. I couldn’t tell you the last time I walked out of a movie theater thinking “wow.” It might’ve been “Thank You For Smoking” but it’s been so long, who knows?
Up until my early-mid-20s, I liked pretty much everything I saw in theaters (I somehow remember enjoying “Red Planet” for cripes’ sake). I never thought of myself as an artsy guy. I don’t look for symbolism or meaning in movies–I like popcorn flicks…even though I never buy popcorn. The point is, . . . . .
I was driving past a Jiffy Lube a saw a banner that caught my eye: Gift Cards Available. Who’d give someone a Jiffy Lube gift card as a present? I know gift cards are big-time money makers, but isn’t that grasping at straws. Imagine waking up, the morning of your one-year wedding anniversary and find your beau bought you a Jiffy Lube gift card. What better way to say ‘I love you’ than a complementary oil change. How many birthday boys out there are secretly hoping to get a gift card to Jiffy Lube? I can’t think of a single possible scenario where a Jiffy Lube gift card is considered an acceptable gift. I would love to meet the genius who thought that was a good idea.
I hate sequels. That’s it–I’m done with them. I don’t care if there is another “Back to the Future,” “Indiana Jones,” “Die Hard,” or even “Simpsons Movie.” I’m done. After “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” I have decided to stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution.
Hollywood churns out sequels because the movie has a built-in audience. There are a large number of people bound to see . . . . .
I’m watching girls fast pitch softball on TV and finding myself getting really into it. Why not? The girls are kinda cute. They can play ball. And I’m seeing it all while watching baseball (or a game like baseball). What’s not to like?
. . . . .
According to CBS, an FBI agent accidentally shot herself this week when her gun discharged in her pocket. This is exactly what happens when you allow women to be cops. Last time I checked, John McClane only gets shot by terrorists.
A few years ago, El Diablo and I were eating late-night tacos. We had no place to sit and eat, so we went inside a 24-coin laundry mat. I couldn’t help but be fascinated with the business. At first, I questioned the profitability of a coin laundry–after all, most are fairly empty and the average customer spends only two or three bucks. But then I got to thinking, there has to be a reason people own coin laundry mats–no one is in business to lose money. As far as I could tell, running a laundry mat is pretty easy. It’s fairly self-automated. There are no labor expenses because the place is never manned. After startup, only expenses are rent, water, and electricity. Meanwhile, customers pump quarters into a machine that cost relatively nothing to run.
That’s when I realized if I was to open my own business, coin laundry would be it (if the Hooters plan fails). I don’t . . . . .
It was a very interesting day. Long, but interesting.
Why did I say that? I hate the word ‘interesting.’ To me, 90 per cent of the time when people use the word ‘interesting’ it’s because their vocabulary isn’t diverse enough to describe what they want. Look at the word. Interesting can mean so many different things. It’s a word without a set definition. For example, if you described someone’s haircut as interesting you didn’t describe it at all. Is it a good haircut or a bad haircut? Is it something odd or unusual? ‘Interesting’ says nothing about the haircut because the word is so indescript.
I’ll get off my high horse now.
I just read that Hollywood is planning on remaking “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” This is on a day, when I discovered a remake of “Fahrenheit 451” is also in the works. I find this to be so appalling. This is just the state of the movie business nowadays–because it is a business and quality films aren’t the slightest concern of Hollywood executives. It just irks me–there isn’t a single fresh idea out there. Why would they? Why would Hollywood gamble $50 million on unique idea that . . . . .
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