US automakers came to Congress asking for $30 billion, claiming without the dough they’ll go bankrupt. Congress didn’t trust them with $30 billion, instead opting to give them only $14 billion. That seems awfully foolish to me. If someone says “I need 30 bricks to build a house” and you decide to give them only 14 bricks, the house isn’t going to get built because it’s still 16 bricks short. Not only did the house not get built, you also wasted your 14 bricks on a project that didn’t have enough material. Same thing feels true about the carmakers. If the automakers needed $30 billion, what good is $14 billion going to do them?

On my honeymoon, I saw a lot of topless women. As per non-American customs, many women opted to remove their tops when sunbathing at the beach. If I was 14 and not accustomed to female mammaries, it would be heaven. Since I’m 31 and have a thorough and complete collection of porn on my hard drive, I wasn’t the slightest bit interested. It’s not just because I’ve seen more boobs than doughnuts. I’ve learned something from my years of “Girls Gone Wild” videos and consider . . . . .