Twitter Quip

    Advice I wish I received (or what they don’t teach in school)

    With my full-time return to school, I feel older and wiser than all my classmates (that’s probably because I am older and wiser). I bring about one third more life experience to the classroom–not to mention a BA in creative writing. I’m not afraid to speak my mind or do my homework because I know I can do so without thoroughly embarrassing myself (except when it comes to analyzing poetry). My wisdom really shines in Groupwork. I think because in Groupwork students are left entirely on their own with little teacher interaction. Since I am the oldest, I become the pseudo teacher of the group and often its leader.

    When unaccustomed students are thrust together for the first time there’s a brief, “getting to know you” phase with an exchange of information. How old are you? What kind of music do you like? What’s your major? Since I refuse to answer the first question and name bands they never heard of (is 1995 really that far in the past?), my academic history proves to be the most topical. The majority of classmates are impressed when I tell them I already have a BA and I’m currently a graduate student. Usually . . . . .

     

    Back to School: it ain’t what it used to be

    The economy is bad (or so the experts say) and my employer felt that my position had to be eliminated.* Faced with the option of paying off my student loans with no income, I decided to delay the inevitable and return to school full time. It doesn’t seem that long since I was a full-time student, but considering “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire” was popular and “Dawson’s Creek” was still on the air, I guess it has. The year was 2003 and I was finishing up my final college semester by sleeping through boring, pointless classes.

    The biggest thing that has changed is the technology. I wrote about this a few months back, but it’s even greater than I realized. Back in 2003, I was a major email-user; unfortunately, the majority of my teachers were not. Very few were willing to communicate by email; now I have teachers insisting that all papers are emailed so we can save trees.

    The computer has made everything different. At my school, everything gets done online. You can register for classes, check grades, even pay tuition. None of this was available in 2003. It might not seem like much, but it’s a whole . . . . .

     

    It’s only cheating if you get caught (I be learned real good)

    I graduated from college in 2003 and my last two or three years were pretty easy. Once I decided to major in English, the only homework I ever had to do was read. The only questions I had to answer were in essay form. This might sound like a nightmare to some people but not me. I love to read and saw nothing wrong with spending my evening perusing the greatest works of American literature (even though the majority of it sucked). As for essays, I loved essays. I’m a bullshitter–I could easily squeeze four or five hundred words out of nothing (which any of my readers could testify to). Hell, I’m much rather answer one question in essay form than take a 100-question, multiple-choice test. With a multiple-choice test, I have a one-in-four chance of getting it right–that’s a 75 percent failure rate. Multiply that by a hundred questions and it’s a no-brainer: I’ll take my chances on conning someone into believe I knew what I was talking about with an essay question.

    That being said, I haven’t had to answer many fill-in-the-blank homework assignments since probably around the year 2000. Like I said–English majors only dealt with essay . . . . .