Twitter Quip

    Recent iRANTs

    The Adventures of Wart Boy and Clarabelle

    I don’t really have a nickname, but if I were to bestow one upon myself (because giving yourself a nickname is always a fine idea) I would likely be called Wart Boy. Unfortunately for Wart Boy the nickname isn’t clever or meaningful on any level. I am Wart Boy because of my propensity to host and grow warts (the boy part is fairly self-explanatory). Despite my portly appearance, I’d like to think I’m generally of good health. I rarely get sick or catch colds. But when it comes to defending myself against the virus that causes warts I’m 72-pound weakling with girlie arms.

    All my life I’ve been prone to getting warts. About twice a year I’d have to see the doctor to get a wart or two frozen off. It was no big deal—I considered it part of my routine checkup. I’ve had so many warts removed from my body I consider myself to be an amateur dermatologist (or at least one who only works with warts). A wart here. A wart there. All in all: relatively no big deal.

    One of my favorite wart stories (that’s right: I have more than one) occurred when my beloved cat scratched . . . . .

     

    April 19th, 2015 | Tags: , , , , , | Category: Healthcare, iRANT, Real Life Adventures | Comments are closed

    Hit-n-run fandom: we all make bad choices

    I read an article about a woman who was hit by four separate cars while trying to walk across the freeway (and you thought you were having a bad day). The first car hit her and pulled over. As the woman started to get up, another car hit her. A third and fourth car hit her as she was lying on the road. Needless to say, the pedestrian didn’t make it (further proof people are not cars and shouldn’t be walking on the freeway).

    But the part that stands out most to me is two of the four drivers drove off without sticking around to make sure she was okay or talk to the police. I gotta hope there’s a special place in Hell for people that hit someone with their car and drive away because they don’t want to be held liable for their actions. I understand if someone robs a liquor store because they need the money. I can relate to someone who kills their wife for the insurance money. I can even fathom stabbing someone over a pair of sneakers. But I have no sympathy for the people who ran over this gal on the freeway. After . . . . .

     

    October 7th, 2009 | Tags: , , , | Category: Current Events, iRANT, Opinions, Social Observations, Sports | Comments are closed

    Batting balls: games macho men play

    Slow pitch softball is a game with many unwritten rules. We’re not professional ballplayers out there and no one wants to get hurt. Win or lose, no one takes the game home with them. Many players are friendly with guys from other teams. It’s a laid-back affair because we all have day jobs…and most of us are severely out of shape.

    One of the unwritten rules is Thou Shall Not Walk with a Ten-Run Lead. Some folks take even more extremely (Thou Shall Not Walk At All). But for the most part, guys are trying to win the game anyway they can. If the opposing pitcher can’t throw strikes, so be it. But once the game is outta hand, the team with a double-digit lead shouldn’t be looking to walk.

    Like any rule, there are some exceptions–most notably when the pitcher is so bad, the hitter has no choice. But generally, a batter shouldn’t walk when he has a strike to spare. If the pitch is out of the strike zone, take a phantom swing to extend the count.

    The team we played last week wasn’t extraordinarily bad…but their pitcher was. He was walking guys left and right. He probably . . . . .

     

    March 17th, 2008 | Tags: | Category: iRANT, Softball, Sports | Comments are closed

    Counting Magic’s pills until they’re gone

    I saw a commercial the other day for pharmaceutical school. What sorta education is required to be a pharmacist? You gotta be able to find the medicine prescribed by the doctor–on your shelf–and you gotta be able to count out the number of pills he prescribes. As far as I can tell, all you need is basic reading and counting skills. Your average sixth grader oughta be able to do that. Pharmaceutical college? Yeah, it’s called grade school.

    On November 7, 1991 Magic Johnson announced to the world he was HIV positive and retiring from the NBA. I remember that date (for some reason, I’m really good at remember the dates of bad things) and I’ll never forget the day. I was in school when rumors started running wild. I didn’t believe it until I got home and saw the news. Like every kid of that age, I idolized Magic and Bird–the two greatest basketball players to live (of course, that was before Jordan got good and started winning rings–but that’s neither here nor there).

    November 7, 1991–more than 15 years ago. While it seemed like a death since back then, Magic certainly appears to be alive and well today. . . . . .

     

    January 24th, 2007 | Tags: , , , , | Category: Business Beefs, Complaints, Insurance, iRANT | Comments are closed