Twitter Quip

    Recent iRANTs

    Rebooting isn’t just for computer geeks (Mo’ Money II)

    Now there’s gonna be a new “Ghostbusters”?!?!?!? When will this stop? Just once–once!–I’d like to see the studios come up with a fresh idea for a movie. But that would require a time machine and a trip back to 1955. Hey, that’s an idea–why not a “Back To the Future” sequel?

    Or should I say ‘reboot?’

    That’s the latest buzzword in Hollywood. Studios are no longer making sequels–they’re ‘rebooting’ franchises. After the critical and commercial success of “Casino Royale” and “Batman Begins,” Hollywood is looking to reboot any franchise that had a successful run. Marvel felt compelled to reboot the Hulk a mere three years after the first one was considered a bust (proof that there’s justice in the world: the 2008 edition made just as much money as the 2005 version).

    Hollywood thinks moviegoers are suckers. The suits believe if they attach the world ‘reboot’ to a franchise, they’ll get people to flock to a tired franchise no one cares about. But it takes more than calling a film a reboot to make a franchise relevant again. The reason “Batman Begins” was successful was because it was a good movie. I say this being a well-known Batman basher (I . . . . .

     

    September 11th, 2008 | Tags: , , , | Category: Complaints, Films, Hollywood, iRANT | Comments are closed

    Super soles (Yabba-Dabba-Doo!)

    I think I’m going to go back to calling my sweetie The Girlfriend. This is not indicative of her status. She hasn’t been demoted and there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. it’s just that fiancée is a difficult world to say–and even harder to spell. It doesn’t roll off the tongue and it’s anywhere near as powerful as ‘The Girlfriend.’

    And now for something completely inappropriate, I’d like to discuss my feet (yeah, that’ll be good for the ratings). I have extremely thick, extremely dry, and extremely tough skin on the bottom of my feet. The Girlfriend likes to refer to my peds as Fred Flintstone feet because they resemble something out of cavemen times (probably because all the time I walk around barefoot). Sure it’s gross to look at or write about, but they’re my feet and I’m the one who has to live with them.

    I’ve always considered my thick-skinned feet to be more of an asset than a hindrance because it’s like having a pair of shoes on when I’m barefoot. The skin on the bottom of my feet is so thick and so dry I can’t feel anything. Trust me. When I was a kid, I . . . . .

     

    February 5th, 2008 | Tags: , | Category: iRANT, The Mundane | Comments are closed

    Stupid, crappy “Shepherd”

    I was having such a good run–probably close to a year–and now it’s gone. Down the drain. Just like that! A perfectly good streak snapped because I didn’t follow my judgment. Damn you Red Jesus!

    I couldn’t tell you the last time I saw a really crappy movie (prior to “The Good Shepherd”) because I’ve been very selective of what I’ve seen over the past year or so. By only seeing movies I only wanna really wanna see, I haven’t had to see any garbage. A whole year of being entertained by movies gone–just like that (despite its flaws, I still found “Superman Returns” to be watchable). I gambled and I lost. I saw a movie that I thought was probably gonna be bad and I was right.

    Unfortunately “The Good Sheppard” sucked even more than I thought imaginable. Matt Damon did nothing but walk around with a hat and trench coat for two hours. My goodness it was boring–so dull it kept me from sleeping because I couldn’t stop thinking about how dull it was. Man, what a stupid boring pointless movie–and of course Red Jesus liked it.

    Is there something wrong with me because I think . . . . .

     

    January 3rd, 2007 | Tags: , , | Category: Films, Hollywood, iRANT | Comments are closed