I could use a vacation: do you know I haven’t been to Vegas since the last time I was there?
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My long-standing hatred towards Kevin Costner might be outdated. Perhaps I should refocus my animosity towards someone who is more relevant. Woke up. Got out out of bed. Found a hooker besides me dead. Either Sam L Jackson is having dinner next to me at Acapulco or I’m a bigger racist than I realized ’cause this guy looks just like him. I thought microblog was the slang term for corrupt Illinois politician with a small penis. I noticed my nails (both finger and toes) have been growing extremely fast lately. Maybe it’s time to cut back on the milk. Monkeys: good for movies; bad for the future of our species. When using the restroom, I like to wash my hands before handling my junk. I’m not a germaphobe–I just know where my hands have been… The job market has gotten so bad I’m thinking of turning to a life of crime. It pays better AND they have openings! If dirty deeds are done dirt cheap, why does it cost so much to hire a handyman? |
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