Twitter Quip

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. Looks like Henery Hawk finally got his man.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. I’m willing to bet he won’t be flying south for the winter.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. All I need now is a frying pan and some ketchup.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. I think the neighborhood kids got their BB gun back.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. I’m not sure what he was doing, but he had a lock-pick and roll of duct tape.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. The early bird catches the worm. And apparently heart disease.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. That’s one less bird cluttering our skies.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. I’d notify next of kin, but he didn’t have a wallet.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. I’m fairly certain it’s not a phoenix because he’s showing no signs of coming back.

    Tweet: I found a dead bird…

    I found a dead bird outside my door today. I’m not sure if I should call the police…or just get a shovel.