I found a dead bird outside my door today. I don’t know how, but I’m pretty sure my indoor cat is somehow responsible.
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I found a dead bird outside my door today: 4,999 more and we’ll have a sign of the Apocalypse. I found a dead bird outside my door today. It wasn’t wrapped in newspaper, but I get the feeling someone is trying to send me a message. The Wife desperately needs a gay best friend. Hell, I need for her to have a gay best friend simply so I can avoid trips to Ikea. Ever accidently swallow an unchewed Cheerio? That’s an awkward feeling. Do you think bankruptcy lawyers take checks? Given their clients, I’d think it would be a “cash only” enterprise. When you make your living as an Elvis impersonator, do you start off skinny as young Elvis and move on to fat Elvis as you get older? Things you can only see in Vegas: Darth Vader and Elvis Priestley hanging out on street corner together: http://bit.ly/ja3rjC Why does The Wife ask for my opinion when decorating the house? That’s like me asking her for advice on a fantasy baseball trade. I’m not sure I’ll be able to enjoy my vacation knowing I forgot to turn off my microwave oven. |
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