I know it’s the polite thing to do, but holding a door open for another guy feels gay.
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Households with more than three boys don’t save money for vacations: they save to replace damaged property. All of the kids got to school early today. Either that or I got there late. Is the president of the NRA more likely to carry a gun in his car or a copy of the Constitution in his pocket? The best thing about dropping a deuce on company time is that it gives you an extra 30 to 40 minute break from work. I would like to point out that the majority of Americans do not consider Cinco de Mayo to be a real holiday. The Wife says I’m too old for Katy Perry. I say she’s too old for me. I meant The Wife. Not Katy Perry. She’s perfect. I should stop talkin. One of the bigger drawbacks of having a tattoo is it becomes less feasible to claim those nude photos of are someone else. In the 19th century, before magazines were common, what did people take to read in the outhouse? Today was my school’s jogathon. I did zero laps in record time. |
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