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January   I hope to gain weight this year. Everyone tries to lose weight but rarely succeed. The way I see it, I should try for something obtainable.       January 1, 2013  My 2013 New Year’s Resolution (and this time I mean it): This is the year I finally get fat enough to go on disability.       January 1, 2013  I refilled the same cup at three different Jack-In-The-Boxes in two different states. The cola always tastes better when it’s stolen.       January 6, 2013  I’m proud to continue my tradition of not seeing a single film nominated for Best Picture.       January 10, 2013  Weight loss is a mistake for fat comedians. Being obscene & angry just doesn’t seem acceptable from a guy who has no reason to hate life.       January 12, 2013  A day like today can best be described by combining “Lethal Weapon” and “The Day After Tommorrow” ——- I’m too (c)old for this shit…       January 16, 2013  The Wife has been sick for past . . . . .