tweets 2014 « Siknerd: Home of the iRANT | funny stories, random thoughts, and many, many complaints

I’m the only teacher at my school who keeps a swea…

I’m the only teacher at my school who keeps a swear jar on his desk.

I’m taking the day off. I’ll still go to work–I’m just not going to do anything.

Anyone want to buy a newborn? I heard you can get a lot of money for a white baby on the black market.

Few things amuse me as much as an Asian guy named “Charlie.”

This probably speaks more to brand loyalty than anything else, but I think the girls who work at T-Mobile are all really hot.

87 octane? 89? 91? Who cares: it all comes from the same dinosaur.

I always find it reassuring when I see a police helicopter flying over an apartment building that isn’t mine.

Exactly how many doughnuts is too many? I know that it’s more than a dozen ’cause I’m still hungry.

I want to get into a dispute w/someone on the steps of 1 First St in Washgtn DC so I can say I argued my case in front of the Supreme Court.