There are no cool black guys in my life. Or–if I’m being completely honest–ANY black guys…
|
||||
|
The word “erection” is spoken way too often during televised sporting events. I was at a library that removed the dust covers from its books. How am I supposed to pick something to read if I can’t judge what’s good? My daughter’s first birthday is coming up and I’m a little concerned because she only came with a 12-month warranty. When I see my baby struggling with a bowel movement I like to give her words of encouragement such as “You show that turd who’s the boss!” I accidentally microwaved some ants today. They didn’t die, so if giant, mutant ants attack the city tomorrow you know why. Is there anything more ineffective than the teacher who yells out to her class: “Who is that talking? There shouldn’t be anyone talking!” At 3am The Wife woke me because the power went out. I said: A) What do you want me to do about it? B) It’s 3am & we’re sleeping. Who cares? It’s pretty easy to not get hit by a train… There’s nothing wrong with a grown man who says he has to tinkle. |
||||
|
Newsletter | RSS | Twitter | Employment | Contact Info |
||||