When I was a kid my teachers told me I had a smart mouth. I thought that meant I was more intelligent than everyone else.
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My car is neither fast nor furious–but it does get 35 miles per gallon! I’m surprised more kindergarten teachers don’t end up in a mental institution. I made my baby laugh so hard she peed herself. Either that or it was time for her to go. Why is Helen Keller an American hero? She was blind, deaf, & didn’t contributed anything to society. At least Stevie Wonder made music… My crimes are like me: petty and motivated by revenge. The best way to beat someone in a race is if they don’t know you’re racing. Being fat and lazy might be a handicap, but it does not entitle you to park in a handicap spot. I don’t use the phrase “cheese-eating surrender monkey” as often as I should. There are few characters on television I relate to more than Cookie Monster. Me love cookies, too, my friend. Me love cookies too. |
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