Twitter Quip

    I have never Googled myself because I don’t want t…

    I have never Googled myself because I don’t want to know what people are saying about me.

    Without knowing anything about politics or genocid…

    Without knowing anything about politics or genocide I grew up believing Nazis were bad based solely on the Indiana Jones movies.

    I want to join Tinder but I’m worried that the onl…

    I want to join Tinder but I’m worried that the only person I’ll hook up with is my wife.

    If you want to show me how to find Jesus I want to…

    If you want to show me how to find Jesus I want to show you how to get punched in the face.

    There’s nothing wrong with being opinionated unles…

    There’s nothing wrong with being opinionated unless your opinion is wrong.

    I prefer my energy drinks to be caffeine free beca…

    I prefer my energy drinks to be caffeine free because I don’t want to be up all night.

    I want something different for dinner tonight. Ins…

    I want something different for dinner tonight. Instead of doughnuts I’m going to eat donuts.

    When it comes to low priorities you’re pretty high…

    When it comes to low priorities you’re pretty high on my list.

    2015

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    January   When it comes to low priorities you’re pretty high on my list.       January 2, 2015  I want something different for dinner tonight. Instead of doughnuts I’m going to eat donuts.       January 4, 2015  I prefer my energy drinks to be caffeine free because I don’t want to be up all night.       January 5, 2015  There’s nothing wrong with being opinionated unless your opinion is wrong.       January 14, 2015  If you want to show me how to find Jesus I want to show you how to get punched in the face.       January 18, 2015  I want to join Tinder but I’m worried that the only person I’ll hook up with is my wife.       January 19, 2015  Without knowing anything about politics or genocide I grew up believing Nazis were bad based solely on the Indiana Jones movies.       January 22, 2015  I have never Googled myself because I don’t want to know what people are saying about me.       January 28, 2015  VH1 Classic is playing MacGruber. . . . . .