Television: the electronic babysitter.
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A trip to the water park confirms what I have long-suspected: many people have a lot of bad tattoos. Reason to Have Kids #724: no longer having to bend over to pick up stuff. Kids are closer to the ground–have them get it. Superman is a selfless & loyal farm boy. Batman is a dark & emotionally closed off playboy. Women want a Superman but end up with a Batman. The Wife wants to start potty training, which is good because I’m tired of changing her diapers. I don’t feel like exercising because I just ate two bowls of pasta, so I’ll watch YouTube videos of people working out instead. When I promised to pick my parents up from the airport I never said anything about taking them home: I took ’em to another airport instead. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am extremely proud of some of my accomplishments in the bathroom. My child threw a hissy fit because she was allowed to eat only 1 cookie. Last week I did the same thing with my wife for the same reason. The worse thing about the weekend is my bathroom breaks now come out of my personal time. |
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