I prefer female doctors over male doctors because they have to work twice as hard for 85% of the pay, so I figure they know their stuff.
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When a fat guy wears The Flash t-shirt does he not realize how ridiculous that looks? Or is he trying to be ironic? I instructed my daughter to leave Santa a plate of cookies…for all eight nights of Hanukkah. Don’t worry–they’ll get eaten. #ReallyDumbAssumptions: It’ll heal on its own. #RememberWhatISaid: enjoy it while you can, because eventually the monkeys or the machines will be in charge. I wanted to hire some Native Americans to serve Thanksgiving dinner but the catering service told me was racist. #MyBodyLanguageSays: That dude has terrible health insurance. #MyBodyLanguageSays: I get my money’s worth at a buffet. I don’t want my daughter eating sweets. That’s why I eat her Halloween candy before she gets to it. Captain Underpants is not an ideal Halloween costume when you work at an elementary school–especially if you use real underpants. |
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