tweets 2019 « Siknerd: Home of the iRANT | funny stories, random thoughts, and many, many complaints

I’m fairly certain anal sex was invented by a guy whose girlfriend was on her period.

I’m hard on my daughter because she’s an only child and I don’t want her to grow up spoiled.

I listen to so much 80s music Alexa probably thinks I’m 15 years older than I really am.

I have a lot of pent-up sarcasm I need to release.

It’s February and I still keep writing the wrong year. I thought today was 2017.

“I agree with Hitler” is a point that should not be made in any conversation.

My aversion to needles is the sole reason I don’t do heroin.

Here’s why women have it easier than men: ingrown chest hairs. Those bastards hurt. Sure, women can counter with “giving birth.” But how often does that happen? Once? Twice? Maybe five times. I get an ingrown chest hair every month.

Here’s why women have it easier than men: ingrown chest hairs. Those bastards hurt. Sure, women can counter with “giving birth.” But how often does that happen? Once? Twice? Maybe five times. I get an ingrown chest hair every month.

Is there any greeting more insulting than “Hey you?” What else says “I feel like I should know you but have no idea what your name is” more than “Hey you?”

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I’m fairly certain anal sex was invented by a guy whose girlfriend was on her period.

I’m hard on my daughter because she’s an only child and I don’t want her to grow up spoiled.

I listen to so much 80s music Alexa probably thinks I’m 15 years older than I really am.

I have a lot of pent-up sarcasm I need to release.

It’s February and I still keep writing the wrong year. I thought today was 2017.

“I agree with Hitler” is a point that should not be made in any conversation.

My aversion to needles is the sole reason I don’t do heroin.

Here’s why women have it easier than men: ingrown chest hairs. Those bastards hurt. Sure, women can counter with “giving birth.” But how often does that happen? Once? Twice? Maybe five times. I get an ingrown chest hair every month.

Is there any greeting more insulting than “Hey you?” What else says “I feel like I should know you but have no idea what your name is” more than “Hey you?”

Is there any greeting more insulting than “Hey you?” What else says “I feel like I should know you but have no idea what your name is” more than “Hey you?”

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