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January   I had a wonderful childhood except my father didn’t love me and I had to live in the snow.       January 1, 2019  Most guys want a beer after a long day at work. I want a doughnut.       January 2, 2019  I severely doubt the accuracy of mood rings because the one emotion I have doesn’t fall on its spectrum: angry.       January 6, 2019  WIFE: You’ve been real very to me lately & I wanted to let you know I appreciate it. ME: I’ve always been nice to you. It’s just taken you this long to realize it.       January 7, 2019  How does Red Lobster pull off its name? Would it work for other restaurants and food? Would you eat at Orange Hot Dog? Grey Hamburger? Brown Tacos? Never mind–that sounds racist.       January 9, 2019  Friday is “Dress as a Character From Your Favorite Book Day” at my school. I narrowed it down to Pennywise the Clown or Christian Gray.       January 10, . . . . .