|
|
Jokes
While I didn't write a single one of these jokes, that doesn't mean they're not funny. I've collected a lot of jokes that have been floating around the internet--some of which are actually funny. Instead of spam-forwards, I've opted to share them here. And to avoid any copyright infringements, if anyone can prove to me that this is their joke, I'll gladly remove it (there--that oughta make my lawyers happy).
Every business needs a slogan:- Sign seen at a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
- On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
- On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
- Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
- At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
- Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
- At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
- On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
- In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
- At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
- On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
- In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
- On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
- At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
- Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
- In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
- At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
- In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait"
|
|
