I find it interesting that when the word 'goddamn' is censored from a song, quite often the 'god' gets cut out and 'damn' gets aired. That's gotta make Satan pretty happy: god is considered more of a curse word than damn. Either that or the record companies don't want to offend anyone who doesn't believe in god ('cause apparently everyone believes in damn).

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My car doesn't have a clock. Whoever purchased the thing from Honda back in 1995 opted for the completely stripped-down, cheap model and decided he was too good to need a clock to tell time (which would explain the sundial I found in the glove box).

I didn't think this was gonna be a problem seeing that the stereo in the car does have a clock. Unfortunately, I've got no clue how to set it. It's got about a bazillion buttons (none of which say "set clock") and I can push until the cows come home. Being the computer savvy, internet-friendly guy I am (did I mention I have my own website?), I downloaded the manual online--the 180-page manual. I knew the stereo was complicate--but 180-pages complicated? In addition to playing CDs, my stereo is able to communicate with the dead and travel through time.

But its clock can't be set.

I crawled in bed one night and read the manual (nothing like a little light bedtime reading). Yes, all 180-pages. According to the manual, setting the clock seemed pretty straightforward. Eager to test out my newfound knowledge, I ran outside in my jammies and attempted to set the clock. I followed the manual step-by-step but the "time changing" option never appeared (however, my stereo did offer to translate the Rosetta Stone for me).

Finally, I gave up. After all, does one really need a clock in this day of cell phones, wristwatches, and banks marquees that display both the weather and time? Besides, I rarely drive my car for more than ten minutes at a time. As long as I checked the time before I got into my car, the lack of clock wouldn't be an issue. Or so I thought.

Maybe I'm obsessive-compulsive, maybe I got a little Doc Brown in me, or maybe it's just because I'm always trying to set a new speed record. Whatever the case, not having a clock in my car drove me nuts. After repeatedly showing up too early and too late for work, I decided enough was enough and I needed a clock. I found an authentic Honda Civic clock on eBay and bought it; hence, ending my time troubles.

This morning before I went to work, I installed that clock--just like the Japanese automakers should have in the 20th century when they built my car (honestly, who does have a clock in their car). I took apart the dashboard and everything--it was almost like I knew what I was doing (remarkably, I didn't break anything--those plastic parts can chip easily). Even though I was given permission to take the day off, I had nothing else to do and wanted to test the clock out...so I went to work.

The clock lights up and I did a wonderful job installing it...but there's one minor problem. The folks at Honda didn't properly do enough R&D when they designed the car 'cause the steering wheel blocks my view of the clock. I gotta tilt my head two inches to the right or left to read it. So much for being able to take a quick peek at the time. I'm just gonna hafta keep my eyes peeled for banks marquees.

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