Foreign films: if you can't understand a word anyone is saying, how can you argue it's well-acted?

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"What do you think is a good movie?" The question was poised to me last night, prompting a spirited debate amongst me and my cronies last night. I tried to refer them to My All-Time Top 10 All-Time Greatest Movie List but that didn't fan the flames of this argument.

I think the problem is in the word 'good' itself. Just like everyone has different opinions and tastes in films, most folks have different interpretations of the word 'good.' Hell, I looked up the word on dictionary.com and it list 58 different meanings. No wondered we got into a heated argument over what's considered a 'good' movie.

In my opinion, a 'good movie' is one that serves its purpose--and to me, that purpose is to entertain. I go to the movies for one reason and one reason alone: to get away from this bane existence known as my life and be entertain for 100 minutes. I'm not looking for anything to expand my mind or make me think. I'm not looking to be cultured of sivilized. I don't wanna watch a film and be impressed with the acting. I don't want a movie to introduce me to a world I've never seen before. I'm not looking to unearth travesties and injustice in the world. I'm looking to be entertained.

What entertains me? That's another vague word without an easy black and white answer. Sometimes artsy films entertain me; sometimes stupid comedies. I think the most important fact is perhaps the most obvious: something that doesn't bore me. If I find a film boring no matter how important its message is--no matter how well it's acted, put together, or shot--I won't find it entertaining. I guess you can say I'm more of a "Sack Lunch" than "English Patient" kinda guy.

Does this make me close-minded and obtuse? Maybe to those who don't understand where I'm coming from. Even though I may seem miserable and grouchy in the iRANT, I actually enjoy life more than people think (and one of those enjoyments is complaining). I believe in spending every minute of my life doing something that entertains me--life is too short to waste doing boring things (hence my dirty bathroom).

One of my favorite examples of this is "The Sixth Sense." Many people swear by this movie--talking about how shocking the twist was at the end. And while I'll agree with them that it was a great twist, this doesn't excuse the boring, uninteresting 100 minutes that came before it. When I saw "The Sixth Sense," I was horrified by how dull it was. I found myself longing for a safety pin just so I had something to prick myself with. Before you judge me, just have an open mind about this for a second. Imagine watching "The Sixth Sense" from beginning to five minutes prior to the end. Anyone who says they find that to be entertaining is either easily amused or a total liar. Yes, I concur that the last five minutes are the most important part of the film and it isn't complete without it--but that doesn't make the boringness of the rest of the movie excusable.

And that's sorta my point. I'm not looking for the Big Picture: I just want to be entertained--every step of the way. Movies are a form of escapism. I'm looking to get away from my world and be entertained by another. I require more than a thought-provoking story or a controversial subject. I like properly paced storytelling that sucks me into the movie--the kind where I forget I'm watching a movie and let my brain absorb the film. It could be a funny comedy (I said funny, David Spade), an interesting story, or exciting action flick. There is no one specific genre that I'll always like. I will never pay to see a movie just because a certain actor is in it. What I see depends on a lot more than just those simple terms.

As a whole, I generally avoid films nominated for Academy Awards because I know what the Academy likes. It appreciates slow-moving films that are deep in thought and meaning but sorely lacking in entertainment. I can't respect any organization has never named a "Star Wars" or "Indiana Jones" movie best picture when those are six of the greatest movies ever made. It's an organization that is pretentious and stuck-up because they refuse to accept comedy as real movies (newsflash: comedy is acting too. Don't tell me Kevin Costner is a better actor than Jim Carrey 'cause Carrey does comedy. I'll bet Jim Carrey could've done just as good as Costner did in his two Oscar films--I doubt Costner could ever pull off being Ace Ventura).

But Oscar-nominated films, epics, and movies with a message just aren't for me. I'm not saying I'm opposed to artsy films--there are plenty that I do like (well, maybe not plenty)--just like there are plenty Bruce Willis movies that I hate. But I go to the movies to be entertained. Anything that can hold my attention for the entire time I'm there, I'll like. I can walk away from a movie like "Armageddon" and "Red Eye" and admit it's a far cry from great cinema. However, I found both films to be entertaining and if you don't focus one them too much, you'll realize it was entertaining enough to keep you happy for a couple hours. Because that's what going to the movies is all about.

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