I hate the bar scene--it's such a lame and ill-conceived mating ritual. Everyone knows that everyone is trying to get laid--it's an unpleasant arena. As I guy who is not looking to get laid, I hate approaching women because I don't want them to think I'm That Guy.

And what I hate most is the primary reason why you end up talking to someone in the first place. It's not because they're smart or interesting--it's based entirely on looks. You see someone from the other side of the bar and if they look hot, you strike up a conversation--which is ironic because physical looks has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you 'click' with someone.

To me, there's nothing as lame as fawning over an attractive person. Maybe it's 'cause I live in California and good-looking gals are a dime a dozen. Or maybe it's because I live in LA and the majority of women fake breasts and/or noses so even the ugly girl can look hot with the right kinda money. Whatever the case, I just find the whole thing so irritating.

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I went to Blockbuster today to rent a movie. I strolled up and down the aisles, frustrated that I was unable to find any good movies (but still blown away by the number of copies they had of "Jackass: Number Two"). I know I've written about the ridiculous poor options Blockbuster has but I can't stress this enough: I look and I look and I can never find any good movies (godforbid they stock a Hitchcock movie).

Up and down, up and down until something caught my eye in the T section. For whatever reason, I remember someone recommending that I see a movie called "Twilight." I grabbed the DVD and tried to remember why. And then it hit me:

Is that the one with a naked Reese Witherspoon?

I looked on the credits and it did feature the young, up-coming actress known as Reese. I stood there, staring at the DVD contemplating my rental options.

That's when I realized I must never again walk into a Blockbuster without knowing what I wanted to see. Never in my life have I ever seen a movie just because it stars an attractive woman and/or has nudity. I've always felt if you wanted to see boobs, rent porn--it's just that easy. Making this situation far more pathetic, I have never found Reese Witherspoon attractive nor have I had a desire to see her naked. Don't get me wrong: if she wanted to wrestle me in her uderwear, I'd take her up on the offer. But she has never been anyone that I thought was special. Special girls I name a computer after. The only Reese that I need in my life comes in peanut butter cup form.

I put "Twilight" back on the shelf and resumed my search for a good movie. Sometimes I wish Blockbuster would climb off their high horse and just carry porn: at least that way I could always find something to watch.

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