Last night at a poker game I saw something that got me thinking. The host of the game was a young guy--couldn'tve been older than 24 (when I see 24-year old idiots who own their own home, not only do I get insanely jealous, my meager accomplishments make me extremely embarrassed about my age). I don't recall his name but I'm gonna assume it's Mike because pretty much everybody is named Mike. Not only was Mike a homeowner, he also was married with a young, cute--and pregnant wife (24 and he has a home, a wife, and kid: meanwhile, here I am at an age I'll never mention with a PlayStation and Superman bed sheets).

Wifey was cute in that bimbo-girlie kinda way. She was petite and attractive, but in no way the upper-echelon of cute women--maybe top 30 per cent. She giggled at pretty much everything (including the end of every sentence she said), liked saying 'all-in' because it was fun, and was about as annoying as they come. I hated her. Not only because her voice made my skin crawl but because she thought she was cute and liked being known as cute. She had to be one of two things: really dumb or acting really dumb because that's what got attention from all the boys. Either way, I wanted to strap her to the hood of my car and drive through a cactus field. You had no idea how much I wanted to knock her out of the game. The $4 she had sitting in front of her meant so much more to me than the 30 most other players had (sentimental purposes, of course).

I don't understand why guys go for girls like that. It blows me away how often a guy will date an annoying cute girl over an ugly fun chik. Don't get me wrong--I see the value in it if you're only looking to bang a girl. A couple dates--maybe a month tops--to get nail her. But when I see guys engage in long-term relationships with women who possess nothing but a great figure, I am completely baffled (and Mike married this girl).

I have another friend who is pretty smart (quick tongue) but kinda goofy-looking and very girlie (when I first met him, I thought he was gay). All in all, I think I'm better than him…but I think I'm better than pretty much everyone. When I met his fiancée, I couldn't believe how hot she was--much better looking than my girlfriend. I found myself thinking how does a guy like that--a guy I'm better than (and far more manly)--get a chik that hot? He's gotta have a schlong the size of a yardstick and the ability to lick his eyebrows. Either that or I'm selling myself way short.

Then I heard her talk. And talk. And talk. The girl never shut-up. And it's not like she ever said anything--she just sorta rambled on like she was reading the phonebook. There might've been complete sentences in there, but I wasn't paying attention. Once I was able to identify the frequency of her monotone voice, I was able to tune it out. And I feel like I'm a better person because of it.

I don't understand guys--why do they put up with it? Or am I the only person who finds bimhos annoying (I like that word: I oughta copyright it)? I don't see how anyone in the room couldn't find that dame annoying (or all adjoining states for that matter). What kinda person dates a woman long-term that's totally annoying?

It's moments like these that make me truly appreciate The Girlfriend. Not only is she attractive, she's funny, social, and doesn't come off as a failure of the American education system. She might not be someone who stops traffic, but intelligence goes a long way--and she's as witty as they come (her comebacks can't put mine to shame--but at least she'd finish as runner-up).

I'd love to know what other guys think--maybe someone can explain to me the advantages of dating an annoying cute chik (remember: just 'cause she's hot doesn't make her good in bed). Why? Why put up with them? And once you've boinked 'em, why keep her around? Is it possible that a girl is so physically attractive, you can look at her and completely block out her voice when she speaks? Please, I'd love to know what guys are thinking. Or is it possibly that I'm just picky and most people don't find bimhos as annoying as I do? I would think anyone with a half brain would be sickened by these chiks. But what do I know: I've never been one to let my penis do the thinking.

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