My head has even gotten bigger--it just keeps growing. About two months ago I bought a fitted cap and now it doesn't fit. Even the last time I complained about my giant head, the hat sorta fit (albeit tight). Now I can barely squeeze it over my giant melon. It's friggin' huge. The damn thing just keeps growing--I think I might need to seek medical help.

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Have you ever realized how flawed the statement is "didja hear the news?" It leaves so much open to interpretation that it really isn't a good way to talk about something. Take this exchange I had with a coworker a few weeks back. "Didja hear the news about Larry," he asked me.

"Yes I did," I said--I heard the news. Larry was a guy we hired a few weeks earlier to come empty all the trashcans at our transmitter facility. Most engineers were too lazy to clean up after themselves so stinky trash piles often built up. "But it doesn't look like he's been up here all week--we've got trash everywhere."

"He is gonna be out a while," my colleague said.

"Whaddya mean be a while--we just hired him and he's already slacking off. Next time I see him, I'm gonna give him an earful."

"Well, he did just have a brain aneurism."

This, I was unaware of. "He did? When?"

"Last week--I thought you said you knew."

And that's the problem with 'didja hear the news.' Last I heard, the news was we hired Larry to clean up the joint. Most folks hadn't even met him yet. When my coworker was offering me 'the news,' I assumed he was talking about Larry's hiring. How was I supposed to know he was in some hospital bed? See, to me, Larry's hiring was the news--it was the last thing I heard and it was a big deal we found someone to take out the trash. Since I'm neither his medical doctor nor his guardian angel, I had no clue of Larry's condition. One man's news is another man's old news...which is why someone should never assume they 'heard the news.'

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