I hate activists--I really do. Whether it's PETA or the KKK, I just despise groups that fight for something. Carl's Jr has this awesome television ad with a hot teacher and white rappers. They sing about patty melts and flat buns. It's gotta be one of my more recent favorite commercials...and now it's gone. Stupid activists complain about the sexy teacher... What: are teachers not allowed to be sexy?

Man, that girl is hot--she's pretty much anything I've ever wanted out of a stripper (mind you, the girl doesn't shed a single article of clothing in the commercial). I blame stay-at-home moms. If they had a little less time on their hands, they wouldn't be fretting over an insignificant burger commercial. Instead of boycotting Carl's Jr and complain to television stations, maybe those stay-at-home moms could use their time to--I don't know--be a parent. Otherwise, get off you high horse and find a job--do something productive with your time. Activists totally ruin everything.

---

I'm a sucka for police pursuits. I know it's a lowbrow and so below me, but I can't help it: I love watching pursuits. It's the ultimate reality television because it's so unpredictable. Even with sports, you know what's gonna happen (like the Dodgers losing). Overdramatic newscasters, fast cars, and shoddy camerawork--what's not to love?

For most folks, the reason they tune in is 'cause they long for the chase to end in a fiery wreck. While that does have its appeal, the thing that really gets me off is the stupidity of announcers. High-speed police pursuits is the only time audiences get to see their beloved anchors speak without the aid of a writer. Maybe I'm privy to information 'cause I work in the television business so I'm not sure if folks at home realize this: news anchors have very little to do with gathering and reporting news. Anchors are nothing but anchors--paid to read the lines someone else wrote for them. There is no journalism in reading the news because anchors are merely reading the teleprompter in front of them.

I find it so amusing that news programs promo their shows by promoting their on-air talent. Like it makes a damn bit of a different who's reading the news--they're all just actors. But Channel 4 would like you to believe they're better than Channel 7 just 'cause Tom Tucker reads the news and Bulldog reports the sports. They want you to think they screen for only the best talent--anchors who have a nose for giving you the most "in-depth coverage." But in all actuality, the anchor job is given to the person with the best hair.

So when local news stations are covering live-pursuit, they have no choice to think for themselves--and we see what blooming idiots they are. They try talking about cars running out of gas. The dangers of driving at such high speeds (70 MPH). They try to become psychologist and take us inside the head of the maniac driving the car. It's all speculation and maybe it's 'cause there really isn't much to report other than a car is going really fast. Nevertheless, pursuits are the best way to see how talented television talents really are.

I wonder if they play things up for the camera. I love how they like to chirp how dangerously a car is driving when the suspect isn't doing anything more reckless than my grandmother does while driving to church. Or how they like to exaggerate the near-misses when the car wasn't ever even close to hitting anything. Do they do that 'cause they're trying to drum up audience excitement or because it's "the right thing to say?" I mean, they can't actually believe the words they're saying...do they?

My guess is they ham it up for the cameras. They can't possible believe what they're saying--not when they gotta fight LA traffic on a daily basis. And that's what I mean about anchors being merely actors--actors ham things up. Reporters are sincere.

What made tonight's pursuit ultra-special was the camera going out...at the exact moment the suspect plowed into an oncoming car. he was racing down residential streets at 90 miles an hour for 70 minutes--even the most novice of pursuit-watchers could tell this was gonna end ugly. And right before it came to a smashing, fiery halt, the helicopter's camera cut out. It doesn't get more priceless than that--I can't think of a more fitting ending. There's folks at home, glued to their sets hoping for a spectacular ending. And right before it happens, the picture goes bad. Talk about you premature ending--viewers must've been yelling at their TV sets. They just wasted hours of their time only to be robbed what they desperately craved. What better conclusion for something we shouldn't be watching?

© 2007 siknerd.com