It's been over a month and I'm prepared to talk about it. Sometimes it takes a while to face your fears and relive something traumatic. It was during a Sunday night softball game. I was on first base with Mighty Casey coming to the plate. Mighty Casey happens to be a left-handed, monster hitter with a dead pull swing. Standing on first with him up is never a welcoming scenario because the threat of being hit with the ball. Granted, he rarely hits anyone--but that doesn't make it any less scary.

First pitch, Mighty Casey drills the ball right at me. I quickly dogged it, narrowly missing the lethal projectile by about a foot.

"I think I'm gonna stand closer to the fence," said the first base coach.

On the very next pitch, Mighty Casey hit another bullet. This time I didn't have a chance to get out of the way. I did my best to turn away from the ball, but still got hit on my left arm slightly above my elbow.

Immediately, I started screaming obscenities that The Girlfriend would not approve of. I jumped up and down, clutching my elbow. The pain was tremendous. As much as I wanted to walk it off, there was nothing I could do. I knew that I desperately wanted ice, but no one had some (why would they: we were nowhere near an ice maker).

"I don't know you're surprised: I fired a warning shot," Mighty Casey quipped.

I hobbled back to the dugout (no way I was gonna be able to run for myself) and that's where things got really weird: I felt lightheaded--like I was gonna blackout. I don't know why--I wasn't hit in the head--but my head just felt...off. Maybe it was a panic attack (I was terrified that my elbow was broken); maybe I was breathing irregularly and the brain was lacking oxygen. I just felt kinda out of it. Exhausted. Tired. Nauseous. Whole body pain. I wanted to hurl.

The good news is nothing broke--I know 'cause after a week of pain I got x-rays. But it coulda been a lot worse. This experience was a real eye-opener. Half an inch lower, that ball would've struck me right on the elbow. Mighty Casey hit that ball so hard, I'm sure my elbow would've shattered--and that woulda been disastrous. Just thinking about it freaks me out. Oh man, that would hurt. Definitely woulda needed surgery ($$$). Out for a really long time. And who knows if they woulda be able to put me back together again. You're never right after something like that--not with the doctors us normal folks hafta use. Professional athletes get the best care; not us. My leg isn't close to being "good as new" after I broke it.

This is kinda of an obvious statement, but I don't wanna get hurt (and that ball coulda really hurt me). Now whenever I'm on base, I'm worried about getting hit--and it's getting worse. My first game back, I wasn't apprehensive about getting hit by the ball--I knew deep down it was a one-in-a-million shot that I got hit in the first place. But the more I play, the more worried I get about being hit (especially with my giant head that's completely unavoidable). It doesn't matter who's up or what base I'm on--I flinched with every swing. I know it's all in my head. I just gotta stay loose and aware--eventually this will pass. What are the odds of me getting hit again?

I'm not sure I wanna find out--maybe I'm better off getting a pinch runner whenever Mighty Casey is up to bat.

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