With me recovering from surgery, I haven't really felt like writing much. But I suppose that shouldn't stop me from posting something online. I'll probably spend the next week or so digging out old stuff I wrote for folks to peruse. Gotta keep my loyal reader (no S) happy.

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I found a ring today. Actually it's more like a band of cheap aluminum (maybe it was part of a pipe). Since I'm drawn to pretty things, I found myself slipping a finger in it and wearing it around. The ring was a little too big and slipped on and off with relative ease. Despite it being tacky, I liked having something on my finger because the noise it made when I tapped things.

Later on in the day, I went to the bathroom. Now I'm not gonna tell you what I did in the bathroom because it's irrelevant to the story (and probably something you don't wanna hear). What I will share is that I thoroughly washed my hands afterwards 'cause that's what I do.

Before I even realized it, the ring slipped off my finger and down the drain. I quickly panicked. The ring clearly clogged the drain as the sink didn't empty as quickly as I should have. I thought about just bailing--letting the clogged drain become someone else's problem. Unfortunately, I noticed someone else was in the bathroom. The stall door was closed but he might've seen me--and I didn't wanna be identified as a drain clogger. Plus, I kinda sorta liked the ring.

I looked down the drain and saw the ring was recoverable. I needed a screw driver or pliers to fish it out--but it shouldn't be that hard to recover with the right tools. I left the bathroom in search of the necessary tools. Ninety seconds later I was back, armed with an eight-inch screw driver. No one saw me grab the tools so I knew if it came down to it, I could maintain a case of total deniability.

When I entered the bathroom, the inhabitant of the occupied stall exited. To my utter horror, it was the station president. I quickly shoved the tools into my pocket, not wanting to explain to him why a ring-sized piece of pipe was clogging the sink. He washed his hands (unaware of the inefficient drain) and smiled at me as he left the restroom.

Relived that I wasn't caught in the bathroom with an odd array of tools (I didn't want the station manger wondering why I needed a screwdriver to go to the bathroom), I dove into my task and retrieved the ring out of the drain. During my fishing expedition, I pulled up a Heath bar wrapper and some sorta solid state mold. When I got the ring out, I returned all the previous occupants back into the drain (I didn't put them there--let someone else fish them out) and rinsed off the ring. With the ring back on my finger, I knew I had committed the perfect crime…and that the station president washes his hands after using the restroom.

Hey, not all knowledge is useful.

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