About two week ago I bought a GPS navigation device for my car. I had been thinking about it for a while now so it wasn't entirely an impulse buy. That being said, I didn't walk into Fry's to buy a GPS. Fry's was in the middle of a massive anniversary sale. Most electronic store "sales" don't really provide much of a discount (nine times outta ten the price is predetermined by the manufacture). But when Fry's has a sale, it's usually legit.

I wandered over to the GPSs and was immediately helped by a salesman. I was there strictly for information because I was still in the preliminary shopping stages. I knew little about the differences between GPSs. Why are some $200 and some $400? It's not like a computer where you pay more for bigger and fast--a GPS doesn't need bigger and faster. The salesman pointed out the various features and showed me a device that was on-sale that day (and that day only) for $200.

Like I said, normally I scoff at sales. But I noticed that Fry's was also offering a significantly lesser GPS made by the same manufacture for the same exact price. Was this device truly on-sale? The "regular price" was $400. I noticed that other GPSs with similar features sold for around the same price. Based on what I saw in the store, the GPS was A Deal for $200.

I called my brother at home and asked him to look up some prices for me. I wanted to know what the device sold for at other stores. He checked all the big box electronic stores and confirmed that everyone else was selling the GPS for $400. Immediately I got excited because I knew I had found A Deal.

But that wasn't enough for me. After all, what was the point of buying it if the GPS wasn't what I was looking for. I asked the salesman more questions and he told me answers. I had borrowed my brother's GPS in the past. I liked his. It had a great interface. The screen was full of useful information. It was easy to use. Before I visited the store, I was leaning towards buying one like my brother had. But the salesman convinced me the on-sale device did everything my brother's GPS did for half the price. How could I resist that? In retrospect, I feel kinda foolish because I was "sold" the item instead of me picking it out. But I was happy when I left the store because I knew I had gotten one helluva deal.

It took two days of driving around to determine I hated the GPS. The interface felt childish. The on-screen information was limited. Even the stupid voice it had annoyed the bejesus outta me. At $200, I got A Deal--but I also got a product I didn't like.

It's hard to put my finger on what I didn't like about it. It didn't do what I wanted it to do. The GPS felt like a step backwards compared to my brother's device. Even though it was a different manufacture, this machine was like a stripped-down version of his. The OS wasn't as good. The travel information was limited. It didn't tell me how long until where I was getting. How far I still had to drive. It might not sound like much, but those feature appeal to me--it makes the driving easier.

And because it wasn't what I wanted, the price really bothered me. The device I bought had a lot of features...but not the ones I wanted. For $200, I got a device that came with all the bells and whistles. It had Bluetooth, AAA integration, text-to-speech, live traffic updates--all things I would never use. For $50 less than I spent, I could get a GPS that didn't come with all those features but still showed me how to get from Point A to Point B--and isn't that really the most important feature of all?

So I decided to return the GPS to the store. Store policy dictated that returning it to the store would require a 15 percent restocking fee. But there was no way I was gonna pay that. It didn't seem fair. It's like buying a digital camera only to take it home and discover it takes lousy pictures. Inside the store, you can't do much with the device. If you wanna buy a car stereo, the store has demo units you can play with. If you want to buy a TV, there's display units to see. But a GPS device has to be outside and in a car to get any kind of feedback at all. What good does it do me to push the buttons inside a store where it can't even see the satellites? There's no way of knowing how the GPS will look or react unless you actually use it.

Suppose you want to buy a laptop and you're trying to decide between a Dell, Compaq, or Gateway. There's no difference in how they work because all of those computers run Windows. The look and feel of the three machines is the same; it's the hardware that's different. But with the GPS, every manufacture uses its own interface. Every one of them is different and you don't know what the differences are until you use it. A lot of folks complain about Microsoft's dominance as an operating system; I think it's a good thing Imagine the chaos if every computer manufacturer wrote their own software. Every thing would be different and there'd be even more people would have to know.

Despite a passionate plea on my part, Fry's still wanted to impose the restocking fee on me. I told them everything I wrote above (expect the pro-Microsoft part: you don't say stuff like that in public). I told them that it just wasn't fair to expect a consumer to keep an item when they had no way of testing it. I even pointed out the biggest factor of all.

"If I return it now and you have to mark it down 15 percent, the sale is over and you'd sell the GPS at $340--more than I paid for it anyway."

But they wouldn't waive the fee because "It's policy." I offered to do an exchange for a different brand and she said "You can exchange it for a different one but I still have to charge you the restocking fee. If you want to exchange it for the same kind, we can waive it."

"Okay, let's do that," I said immediately. It made no sense to me. Here I was, complaining about how much I hated the device and she's offering to exchange it with me for the same exact one. The only reason I took her up on her offer was because I figured if I exchanged it for a new, unopened one...I could come back tomorrow and try returning that one instead. Either that or I sell it on eBay.

But it made no sense to me why she even offered it. This is the problem with employees in this country. They become corporate drones spewing out words like 'policy' and 'procedure.' They don't know how to think for themselves. They don't know to apply logic. They just know how to do what they're told. I had just spent the past ten minutes complain about what a piece of crap the GPS was and she offered me the opportunity to exchange it for the same exact kind. It makes no sense. No one with a brain would do that.

Unfortunately, my evil plan of getting a newly-boxed device failed because a cashier told the clerk if I was doing an exchange, the box had to be opened. I told her I didn't want the box opened so I could at least give it as a gift or sell it on eBay. But she had to open it. Because it's policy. Which again, presents the question: why offer me an exchange for the same device if you're going to open the box when I already expressed how much I hate it?

That's when Angry 'Nerd came out. It's a shame because I really don't like belittling or yelling at people. I don't like that I hafta huff and puff and put on a big show of rage to get what's fair. I raised my voice. I made demands for an unopened box or a complete refund. I shouldn't hafta do that. The cashier should have to be subjected to something like that. But it must be done...all in the name of policy.

The cashier then put on her show. She huffed and puffed and said she'd give me a full refund. It's kinda weird because I felt like we were both faking. I wasn't as angry as I made myself seem; she didn't really think I was the idiot she called me. That was the game we both had to play to get the refund done because that's just the American way.

And now I've reached the point that I wanted to make when I sat down to write this...some 1500 words ago. She told me something I found very interesting; yet something I've know all along.

"When you buy something, you need to go on the internet and research it. You shouldn't trust a salesman because some times these people don't know what they're talking about and make mistakes. Don't let the salesman tell you what features something has--you got to figure that out for yourself."

It's something I've been saying for years: salesmen know nothing. I know that because I used to be a salesman. I worked at Best Buy and Staples and I learned quickly being a salesman is more knowing about how to bullshit than knowing how to use a product. With every purchase I've ever made, I've research the hell out of it before I walked into the store. I knew what I wanted before I got there and the only thing I needed a salesman for was to get it off the shelf. With every purchase I've ever made, I knew more about the product than the person who tried to sell me on it (maybe that's why I hated that GPS so much: it didn't feel like the right one for me because I didn't find it--it was thrust upon me).

I've known salesmen are idiots. Think about it: how much do you really know about electronics if you're making a measly $10 an hour to peddle them? If a salesman had any brains to him, he would be working such a lousy job. I've known that for years--I found it refreshing to see a store employee agree with me.

And that brings my short-lived life as a GPS owner to an end.

© 2008 siknerd.com