Air travel is far from an exact science. I'm not much of a flyer because I rarely go anywhere. When I do, I wonder if it's worth the inconvenience. Don't get me wrong: if you're traveling to Hawaii, it's worth flying because no one has built a bridge yet. But the hoops and hassles you need to go through for short trips has me wondering if it just be easy to drive.

Passengers are required to get to the airport 90 minutes before their flight leaves. You gotta check in your bags. Worry if the bags weigh too much. Go through the gate. Take off your shoes. Be subjected to random searches. Turn on your electronics. Turn off your electronics. Getting on a plane feels like a twisted version of "Simon Says."

I understand the need for these security steps but it's a darn shame that everyone has to go through this because of a few bad apples. A few years ago, some idiot tried to smuggle a bomb on a plane through his shoes and now every commercial passenger is required to put their shoes through an x-ray machine. Eight years ago, a bunch of deranged idiots decided to turn planes into missiles and now we need to get to the airport hella early for security checks. Just a few small idiots make everything more difficult for everyone else--it doesn't seem fair.

That's not to say I'm complaining about it (I know it's for the good of the public)--I just think it's a pain in the keyster. I'd much rather take off my shoes at an airport than see a plane slam into a building again. The part that doesn't seem fair to me is that the majority is affected by a minority. I have no idea how many people fly in this country--but I'd be willing to bet the ratio of Good Guys to Terrorist is like a ten million to one. Nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine people have to be hassled and inspected because one idiot. The math doesn't seem fair.

The irony of it all is these measures are entirely preventive. Airport security isn't going to "catch" anyone because the bad guys know they can't get a weapon onboard anymore--they've moved on to bombing subway stations or voting for the least talented performer on "American Idol." Airline security isn't a sting operation to catch criminals--it's a procedure to discourage criminals from flying.

I think airline security personnel know this--they know how futile and mundane their jobs are. It's like sorting through seven tons of M&M's trying to find the one Skittle. Everyday at the airport is without incident. They go though the motions and do their job on autopilot. Check ID. Look at an x-ray. Watch people walk through the metal detector. Incidents rarely happen because few people want to reek havoc on a plane.

During my recent airline travels, I took a knife on the plane--twice. I keep a small, two-inch knife with a serrated blade with my keys. While a far cry from something Rambo would carry, it's certain big enough to kill a stewardess if you know how to use it. I had it on my keychain and completely forgot about it. I put it in the bin with the rest of my personal belongings. Airport security saw it with their eyes and the x-ray machine...and allowed me to take it on the plane.

Admittedly, I don't know the US policy for what is and isn't allowed on an airline in our post-9/11 world. But I would think if we're forced to have our shoes x-rayed and forbidden to take more than three ounces of any given liquid, a small pocket knife certainly would be banned. I think the terrorist of 9/11 took over planes armed with razorblades and crochet needles. And yet here I am, carrying a potentially lethal weapon on a plane...in plain sight of those who are supposed to prevent it.

I'm hoping security saw the knife and decided to let me pass because I clearly do not look like a terrorist (that's right--I'm in favor of racial profiling). But if that's the government's unofficial policy, it's only a matter of time before an attack happens again (if a Muslim ditches his turban and shaves off his beard, is he no longer a terrorist?).

Unfortunately, I don't think I was the beneficiary of racial profiling--I fear my success as a weapon smuggler stems from the ineptness of airport security. Eight hours of watching person after person go before them without any contraband is enough to make any brain fall asleep. People do things to pass the time. Whether it's talk to coworker or mentally allowing themselves to drift somewhere else, examining the belongings of clean-cut Americans is a low priority of airport security--even if it is their job.

That's what makes the hoop-jumping so annoying. If I can bring a knife aboard a plane twice in the span of five days, who is to say someone with malicious intent can't? If someone wants to do damage aboard a plane, they will--they'll find a way. Unless we go as far as stripping everyone naked with no personal belongings at all on a plane, someone will always be able to bring a weapon on board. I'm not happy about it. I'm not saying we should abandon airport security. I'm just saying it all feels so hopeless for everyone (passengers and employs alike). These steps are taken so people feel safe and secure when they fly. But they shouldn't. No one is safe under the current system. Security has to get better (which will make flying more expensive) for it to be as effective as the government would like us to believe.

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