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I just spent 90 minutes designing a logo for my iRANT blog. Do I have too much time on my hands or am I just dedicated?

I don't like buying stuff at Amazon. For the longest time, they were on my boycott list. I don't remember why, but I think it had something to do with their business practices. That and those annoying commercials they had in the late 90s. And even though I'm a man of his principles, it'd be a shame to let my pride get in the way of a really good deal.

I wanted to buy a product called Slingbox. Basically it's an video encoder that transmits over a broadband connection (in non-geekspeak: it'll allow me to watch TV on my computer). The product retails for $250...but you can always find it cheaper on eBay. I don't know what inspired me to do, but I actually decided to check Amazon just to see what it was going for there. Actually, I do now: quite often items purchased at Amazon are shipped out of state and don't require sales tax (tax on a $250 item is like 20 bucks).

Amazon listed the Slingbox at $200--about what I woulda spent on eBay for it. However, Amazon offered an additional discount. I coulda saved another 30 bucks by applying and pay for my purchase on an Amazon credit card. That means I woulda paid $170 instead of the $250 plus tax it'd cost elsewhere

Now we're talking!

I quickly applied for the credit card while mentally planning all the things I was gonna do with my Slingbox (no more sitting in front of a computer to watch TV--I could now do it from my desk at work and ignore that to-do box that keeps getting bigger). What a deal I was getting! I could hardly contain myself--the excitement was too much. I did a couple shots of tequila just to calm my nerves. Unfortunately my application required "special consideration" and I had to wait up to two weeks for processing (maybe I shoulda used my real Social Security Number).

A few days after I applied for the card, I received an email telling me that I was approved and could immediately start shopping on their site (see--I told you I didn't need my real social). I went back to the Amazon site and in my shopping cart was the Slingbox--with a memo.

"The price of the item you place in your shopping cart may have changed since the last time you logged in. Unfortunately, Amazon can only honor current prices."

There was no "may" to it--the price did go up. The list price jumped from $200 to 220. During the time I spent waiting to recieve Amazon's $30 discount, Amazon decided to jack the price up 20 bucks. I found this to be totally unacceptable. They screwed me. The only reason I had to pay a higher price for the item is because they delayed me with another offer. Not one to remain bent over, I decided to call them.

Amazon, like many big internet companies doesn't make their phone number easily accessible on their website (I'm talking to you, eBay; Yahoo!). Phone calls require personal to answer them. People cost money and once again, it's all about the bottom line. After hunting and pecking my way past the FAQs, I found away to contact them by phone. All I had to do was enter my phone number and Amazon would call me.

What kinda messed up bull is that? I hafta sit around the phone waiting for them to call me? I don't think so--I've got a job and a life (okay, I have a job) and don't wanna hafta wait hang around the phone waiting for their call. I don't hang around the phone wait for Zooey Deschanel to call--and I included my phone number on every email, letter, and package I sent her.

I thank the gods for giving us the internet and everything that comes with it. Any bit of information is out there if you know how to find it--and Google is that finder. I googled "Amazon phone number" and came across a wonderful little site. I'd like to give a shot out to m'girl Ellen Hobbs--who made it a point to post hard-to-find corporate phone numbers on her website, including Amazon (800-201-7575).

The wait time was surprisingly short (probably the byproduct of your phone number being as buried as Jimmy Hoffa). I spoke to a clerk and explained my situation, but he said there was "nothing" he could do about.

"Shane, I don't want to waste any of your time or mine: if you can't do it, let me to talk to a supervisor and someone who can."

I feel bad for a guy like Shane--his biggest flaw in life is that he works for a cold company like Amazon. I was cordial to him, but if he wasn't the guy then I didn't wanna talk to him. I spoke to a supervisor who quickly decided to "honor" the price I saw as a "courtesy." It didn't take much of a fight.

It's just irritating that a guy like Shane couldn't help me because he wasn't allowed to. I knew damn well that speaking to the supervisor would. It's policy to not honor previous deals and prices. But if I asked the right person, it was only a matter of time to find some one who would. It's not like he made a special exceptions to do so--it's his job and he probably has a hundred such cases a day. I just hate how it's policy to screw you until you complain enough about it. The first guy coulda helped me--he just wasn't allowed to. And I'm better he's no lesser of a man than the supervisor.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah--I hate Amazon. The real courtesy would be having a phone number on its bloody website. A courtesy would be just giving me the damn price in the first place without needing to speak to a supervisor. A real courtesy would be showing some warmth and allowing its customers to connect with them.

But that would cut into the bottom line.

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2006