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The other day, someone asked me if I was cheap.

"I live within my means," I said to her.

It's hard to consider yourself cheap when you make as little money as I do (of course, how often does one think of themself as frugal). My clothes, my car, my women--I can see why someone might think I prefer things on the cheaper side. But it's all I can afford and I refuse to carry any debt. If I can't afford something, I don't buy it and I pay off my credit card balance every month.

Purchases are always weighed, value verses expense. Sure, I'd like cable. But at the price tag of around $50 a month, I think that money can be better spent on other things--like food. But those are the things you gotta consider when you're a poor guy living in luxurious Orange County.

This town is brutal to live in. The average house cost around $700,000--and rent is no prettier. I was talking to a chik online and when I told her what I paid in rent, she assumed I was living in a two-store, five bedroom house (ah to live out of California--not only can you afford the rent, you can fill up your gas tank without having to sell a kidney).

Financial experts say you shouldn't spend any more than a third of your income on rent: I spend 50 per cent. Those "experts" who suggest I find someplace cheaper to live clearly never been to Orange County--at the exorbitant price I'm paying, I'm still getting one helluva deal on rent (which is probably why so many people still live with their parents). I suppose I could get a roommate to share the cost of rent, but then I'd hafta move to a bigger place (The Fortress is way too small for two people)...and pay a higher rent in the process. I did the math on this--I'd probably only save a hundred bones a month on rent if I lived with a roommate. And you can't put a price on privacy. Well, actually you can--but I'm sure it's more that a hundred bucks.

My car is 18-years old and because I don't wash it, it looks worse than that. But do I care? Hell no. Too often, too many people view a car as a status simple--the more expensive your car is, the more money you make. Me? I view a car as a way to get from point A to point B. A car is a necessary evil in SoCal. With everything so sparsely separated, I gotta use my car to get to the grocery store or risk coming home with milk that soured. Sure, I suppose I could buy a newer car...but I think that money can be better spent on other things--like rent.

Maybe if I put a little attention into my car, it wouldn't look so old. The problem is I'm too damn practical to care. I'm not gonna spend the time or money going to a ruddy carwash (I hate those things). I'm not gonna take the time to wash it myself--not when I own a PlayStation (I got better things to do). Besides, a clean, shinny, fancy car only appeals to car thieves and those who want to impress others. I'm neither (I'd rather specialize in stealing identities: it's more lucrative with less risk--kinda like oral sex).

But I do spend money. I probably spend too much money going out to eat. I do it a handful of times a week with my friends. I buy lunch at work and often don't wanna cook dinner at home. And I spend too much money on softball gear, equipment, and league fees--but I'm okay with that because that's what I like to do. Also, if there's a gadget that warrants my ownership, I'll buy it--but I always look for the best deal (good'ole eBay).

So given all that, would you consider me frugal? I think of it more like being economical. I suppose I could run those credit card bills up...but for the most part, I already have all I want in life (except a house, a hot blonde housekeeping hooker, or a time machine). I live within my means and am content--I wouldn't call that cheap.

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2006