siknerd.com - Home of the World Famous iRANT

If you're not a Kevin Smith fan, you're not gonna like "Clerks II." And by "Kevin Smith fan," I mean you have seen all of the View Askewniverse films and enjoyed most--if not all of them. If you liked "Mallrats" but didn't see "Dogma", you're not a Kevin Smith fan. If you dislike "Clerks" because it's black and white, you're not a Kevin Smith fan. If you never called your sweetie "boo-boo kitty fuck;" watched hermaphrodite porn; or uttered the phrase "what's a Nubian," you're not a Kevin Smith fan. Simply put; if all of this is gibberish to you, go watch "My Super Ex-girlfriend" or whatever is the latest piece of Kevin Costner shit your local megaplex is playing.

But for those of you who are Kevin Smith fans, you'll find this delightful film to be a more than suitable sequel to the first "Clerks." And although the dialogue isn't as witty as the first one and the humor does stray more towards the "dick and fart" jokes than debating a roofer's personal politics, "Clerks II" certainly delivers plenty of entertainment and humour.

I don't like wasting time discussing plot cause you can get that sorta info anywhere. Plus, I despise reading a review that gives away too much--I like to go in fresh.

I want to start by saying Randal Graves is a god to me. There's just no tiptoeing around that. I loved him in the first "Clerks" and he continues right where he left off: offending and insulting all of those around him. As someone who has toiled far too much in the customer service business, I find Randal Graves to be one of my all-time favourite film characters (in addition to his god-like status). Maybe it's his obsession with unusual sex acts or his remorseless ability to rip into the occasional customer--there's just something about the guy I can relate to. I could watch 90 minutes of him discussing politics, Star Wars, or even him just talking about his weekend--he's a total hoot and doesn't disappoint in "Clerks II."

But I was expecting "Clerks II" to totally suck. I mean, there's no way Kevin Smith could capture the same charm as the first film. You know the way sequels are: while "Revenge of the Sith" has all the elements of the original Star Wars trilogy, it still doesn't "feel" like the first films. I figured there I would have the same feeling about "Clerks II."

Despite being shot with multiple camera; a budget more than 200 times the first one; and being in color, "Clerks II" does "feel" like a continuation of the original movie. It's pretty obvious that Dante and Randal are two characters Kevin Smith knows intimately. Nothing ever felt forced and they seem so natural and believable. He was able to capture their essence exactly the way he did over a decade ago.

I'm especially pleased with the incorporation of Jay and Silent Bob. The two drug dealers are considered by many to be their favorite View Askewniverse characters. I never quite understood this, thinking of perhaps three or four other Kevin Smith characters funnier and more fascinating. With "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," I think Kevin Smith made a movie for the fans about their favorite two stoners--and I hoped that would be the end of their glorification. The Doobage Duo's roles have grown larger and larger in each film, but in the original "Clerks," they just had bit parts. "Clerks" was about the lives of Dante and Randal--not Jay and Silent Bob. Kevin Smith kept that theme alive in "Clerks II." Jay and Silent Bob have larger parts than they did in the first film, but at least they're just observers and no subplots or story lines revolve around them. Think "Mallrats" with less significance.

Now "Clerks II" isn't a perfect film. There were a couple of elements introduced that the story never really came back to. I suppose these subplots were there just to provide elements for humor, but I kinda expected Kevin Smith to address them later.

But I guess that's kind of the point. Dante and Randal are both loser clerks in their earlier 30s. When an old high school rival comes in to rub in his success, we're expecting the clerks to extract their revenge somehow. But life isn't that way. Just because someone is an ass, they don't necessarily get their comeuppance. Look at Barry Bonds--he's still hitting home runs scot-free.

That type of realism is another element of the film I liked. Dante is torn between two women: the one he's going to marry and the one who makes him happy. And while the girl he's going to marry isn't a bad girl, he's clearly not happy with her. I found myself feeling sorry for the gal when she discovers Dante has doubts about their marriage. This is a refreshing change from the classic Hollywood triangle. Boy 1 love Girl, but Girl is already with Boy 2--who is a total dick and everyone in the audience knows it. Think Drew Barrymore in the "Wedding Singer."

Perhaps that's what makes the "Clerks" films so charming--because it feels like real life (well, except the donkey sex show). In the first film, Dante was a loser cashier in his 20s wanting more out of life. In its sequel, Dante is a loser cashier in his 30s who thinks he wants more out of life because he's getting older. This is something I can greatly relate to. As I get older, many people ask me if I have kids or a family. Part of me feels like maybe I'm supposed to settle down and become mature because that's what people do. But to be honest, I'm happy playing ball and eating hot dogs. There really isn't much more I want out of life--even if it's expected of me.

Sorry, lemme get off my soapbox (or the therapist's couch). The point of this iRANT is that anyone who is a Kevin Smith fan will not be disappointed in "Clerks II." Everyone else is a closed-minded conservative with pent up anger and sexual frustration--you're living in denial and suppressing rage, motherfucker!

Older iRANT

Newer iRANT

2006